I went to sleep at my usual time at 4:40 A.M.

I usually wake up around noon earliest, but today I thought I was gonna die. I would awaken at 7:20 A.M., with a lack of breath, dry mouth, and sharp stomach pains (not to mention bloating). I walked slowly to the bathroom, tryin to make it as least painful as possible. At first I thought I was going to throw up, but after ten minutes of nothing I proceeded to the can.

NOTHING

I remembered that I was thirsty and took a drink from the sink. A minute later the runs hit me and im on the can for a good half hour. One of the most painful and longlasting events of my life.

Now what caused this?

I'll tell you what caused this. That night before I hit the sack, I was doing the usual (watching Conan O'brien and reading nodes on E2). I remembered eating more than half a can of Planters Cheese Balls. What I think caused this hell to emerge was not drinking any fluids. I was so tired, as I usually am around this time and decided to go straight to bed.

Kids, please drink something before you go to bed, especially if you ate something. Then again I did have some Chinese fastfood from a grade B restaurant that day.