I'm back at the library and excited for the upcoming week even though I'm not sure how I'm going to get up and out of bed tomorrow morning. Yesterday I called in sick to work, went back to bed, felt bad about my boss working the entire day by herself, and forced myself to shower, dress, and drive into work. She was surprised to see me, more than one person commented on how I looked which was unwell to put it mildly. A guy I work with was super nice when I went to get tea so I waved to him when I left for the first time. My boss let me work a split shift and I will always love her for things like that. I worked for about three and a half hours and I wasn't incredibly productive or useful for most of the time. Fortunately it was a slower day and that helped. It's also nice that I've been there for a while and could kind of cruise around my department not doing too much of anything.
I met a very nice couple who were in the store for the first time. Talking to them helped the time pass more quickly although an hour and a half shift doesn't drag like some of the longer ones. I'm not sure what made me so sick, if it was an allergy/intolerance thing, or the piece of chicken I had was to blame. Either way I woke up in the middle of the night fearing worse events than the ones that transpired. I didn't eat breakfast, I tried to stay hydrated during my short stint at work, but at times it was an effort to swallow anything. I thought I would be able to go right to sleep, but I tossed and turned like I normally do. I attempted reading my sex and intimacy book, I returned it to the library today, I'm just not up for that kind of reading right now and I've made my peace with that.
It's frustrating to have to throw out chicken that I just made, but better safe than sorry. In a way I'll be glad if it was the chicken because that's an obvious culprit and disposing of it will be much easier than trying to track down anything else that could have made me ill. Today a friend returned my call. I was worried about her, she had been to Mayo Clinic and the trip was a bust. Now she's contemplating visiting a specialist in New York, but isn't very optimistic that this new guy will be helpful or kind. I feel really bad for her and pray that she gets some answers soon. Not knowing what is going on with your body is a scary thing, and hearing that the cream of the medical crop has no clue either is hardly reassuring.
Today a friend of mine asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving. Food related holidays seem like more work than usual. The girls want to go so I'll put in an appearance. I feel guilty that I don't want to go, particularly since this friend is estranged from his family and would dearly love an old fashioned get together like the one I'll be attending. My friends give me perspective and I'm grateful for that. I wouldn't want his family issues or her medical problems. My life is going well, I'm making strides, this is just a temporary emotional setback and those happen to people. The sex and intimacy book spoke about emotional maturity involving feelings and thoughts. Divorcing logic from feelings is as dangerous as throwing intelligent throughts to the wind when one is swept away by their emotions. I had never heard it described like that before and feel enlightened for the revelation.
I'm so unbelievably tired and I know that is not a good sign. It's a bright sunny day, for some unknown reason I decided to forgo either a coat or jacket and it's not really warm enough to have done that and be outside for a lengthy period of time. Too bad because I could have walked around the library in this quaint little town. But at least I got up, took a shower, got dressed, and got out of my place. I spent a lot of time cleaning the other day, but of course dishes have piled up since then and there's the chicken to deal with, next time I'll be better about getting rid of it right away. Disappointing to have spent that money and wasted the time, but I don't know for sure that it was the chicken so I can't be too upset. I'm working with two of my friends tomorrow and looking forward to that. I really want to go shopping, but my finance blogs would probably advise against that, maybe I will anyways. Sometimes I'm that rebel without a cause because it's cold and I want to buy all the warm things.
Until next time,
Jess