November 12, 2000 (idea)

I've decided that there are at least two polarizations of personality that people have. There are people who wait for the world to come to them, and there are those who go after what they want. The latter seem to be the type of people who do well in life, but unfortunately up until now, I have alwyas been the former. I say "unfortunately", because I feel like I have wasted so much time already taking a completely passive approach to life.

I think yesterday was a day of change for me. I discovered that it doesn't hurt to be agressive. I don't want to continue waiting around on life to present me with good fortune. I'm going to improve myself now. I am going to go have fun, so that I don't regret not having done so when I'm older. I am reminded of one of the lines from Baz Luhrman's song "Everybody's Free (To wear sunscreen)", and that's "Do one thing every day, that scares you". That's exactly what I'm going to do.

It's time.

Still at work. Waiting on some hardware to get done so I can re-start all of the software. I'm studying some grade 2 kanji characters in the meantime. We went for a bite to eat at Roadhouse Grill. I've never been there before - there was peanut shells everywhere. They are a free appetizer, and it's ok to just dump the shells on the floor. It was kind of cool.. :)

Maybe I'm crazy. I'm having serious doubts as to if Kawana would really be interested in me. The feelings she gave me seem to be wearing out with time. Oh well, I'll probably see her again on Friday. Maybe I should drop some hints to her then. It's sort of like there's a small chance, and it's worth a try, but I'm not betting on it. Maybe I'll just work on being friends with her.

I sent a couple of emails out to some ladies on a dating site. I've never done that before, so it was sort of a new experience. I probably wouldn't have done such a thing a month ago, but I'm getting much more comfortable with socializing, and I am finally getting some self-esteem. It's much more practical for me to try to meet someone from a dating service than to put too much energy into Kawana, but I'll still leave that option open just in case :)

I spent about 8 hours at work today, and really didn't do anything until the end. I spent most of that time studying kanji, and I am up to the 120th character. I started practicing drawing them as well, since the kanji henabi program in my palm pilot shows me the stroke order and direction.

I really want to learn this language, as it seems so fascinating and logical. Besides, if I ever become an anime fan, it will work out great :) The only anime movie or series I've seen is Ghost in the Shell, which I think was quite awesome.

I need to return some of my netflix movies so that I can rent a few other anime movies people have been suggesting to me. I think I've had some of these DVDs since January. It would have been cheaper to buy them; but it's nice to have the unlimited rental situation. I'm sure they like my status as a customer. What I don't understand is why they keep sending me emails, reminding me to trade my movies in. Isn't it in their best interest for me to keep holding onto the ones I have?

I really enjoyed the node My brain went on vacation and left my pancreas in charge. I had to mention it here, because I could only give it one vote and it was already C!ed, but it deserves much more :)

I really don't know what else to say. Body going numb. Time for sleep.