I've been thinking alot over the last
five days. A hell of alot. I've thought about how I want to change my
life and how I want to change
myself. I've pondered over what I think about peoples attitudes and how people react to certain situations. We aren't half
dopey.
Why do we handle situations so badly?
We all seem to
hurt the people that we care so deeply about. I know I have done it and I have seen it also. We all make so many
mistakes, mistakes that cannot be fixed. I have made a fair few this year. I have upset people and I'm sorry for that.
There was a time when I knew you were trying to help me, to make me happy and I just couldn't take it. I didn't want to be with you. I hated that
pressure, didn't you understand that? I had never had someone like this about me. Never thought I would.
I was unprepared for you...
The thing is when we like or
love someone so badly nothing rlse seems to matter. Feelings are hurt and
friendships are broken. I don't want that ever to happen to me. I can never see myself falling in love, sad ain't it? I'm not the falling in
love kind, or maybe I am. I'll have to I suppose. I'll just have to see.
It isn't like I don't want. I want to get
married and maybe have
kids, I want to do all of those
family things. I just can't see myself actually doing them. Love comes with too much
baggage, too many
tears and
tantrums.
I just don't want to be
hurt, I've seen love
rule people..