The
ongoing saga of
drama ensues (more than a
year later mind you) between the
ex and
myself:
She wrote me -
So we have now become friends, almost to the same caliber of freshman year, not quite though. This is the point where I freak out because things are looking to be peachy for an extended period of time. Although I am sure you think things between us are fabulous and you would never have thought twice about it, I am still not very comfortable with the situation. My problem is that the more that we are friends and the more I am reminded about how well I know you, and in the back of my mind there is the thought that we work so well together and did as a couple. Every time I catch myself thinking this I remind myself that it cannot work for reasons that we have explored extensively. Yet I still feel slightly upset. I know you aren't the best at giving advice, especially for situations that you are involved with, but every other person I can think of to talk about this would tell me that I need to talk to you about it. So really any input would be appreciated. This isn't very urgent, I am not wallowing in self pity every second of the day. I am actually really happy most of the time. Yet there is that 30 seconds after every phone conversation or when I see you online or listen to one of your mixes that I am unhappy. Maybe I will just have to deal with that for awhile, but if there is anyway that you could think of, that would be great. I know that you are incredibly happy with Julia, especially since she is visiting you and all, but if you could please give this about 5 minutes of your time to think about, and if after that you can think of nothing it's ok. I really do love being friends with you, I just still need to find a way to be comfortable. I know this is heavy and I'm sorry to burden you, but again you are the best person to talk to about this.
Caroline
PS - You may notice that I wrote this at 2:36 am my time, yes I have been drinking (not much mind you), but I have been thinking about this for a little while so the time and/or the light alcohol is not reason to dismiss the issue.
My Reply -
Hey,
Sorry for the very delayed response, I've been pretty extremely busy making the transition into the next "semester" here and haven't had time for much else but finals. Because of this I haven't had much time to think about us either, so this may do a shitty job at explaining my thoughts. I'll give it a shot though. I really enjoy us as friends, I think you're great to talk with and a wonderful person to call upon when I need help. And yeah we did have some chemistry back when we first started dating, yet I felt that as we progressed we grew back into the comfort level of good friends and were trying to force the romantic aspect upon something that wasn't there. So I tried backing out subtlety but was caught up in emotions which kept me from being firm and in the end I came to hurt you. And for that I'm sorry, but I'd really like to get us back to that point at which we were before we started dating. That may take some time, but I'm willing to try because I remember how good of friends we were before.
Alright well I've got to get back to class now, I'll give you a call as soon as I can,
Dave
There is more to it all now that these have had time to settle, but my exhaustion over dealing with the whole thing is leaving that for another time...