O hai. I'm daylogging again.
I desperately need to have a clothing purge. Nay-- a clothing armageddon.
I went digging through my tub of plaster hands looking for some sandpaper (...don't ask) and found, in a tub that was supposed to hold just art supplies, a jacket, a pair of jeans (size ...4?), a plaid shirt that I thought I'd lost last year, and a bright green bra with a single push-up pad.
I don't even want to talk about the state of my closet, or the fact that I need to compress two dressers' worth of clothing that I've collected over the past three years into one for my upcoming move. That, if nothing else, makes me regret the year I spent working at the thrift store, with its easy access to more-or-less free clothes. (Well, that and the vases full of urine that occasionally made their way to the knickknack shelf.)
I'm tired of hoarding clothing that doesn't fit,"just in case." Yes, I may balloon up to over 200 lbs again. Yes, I might also drop back down to 120. Is either terribly likely? No, and hell, no. Why, then, do I own 18 pairs of jeans, only three of which fit? If I really need to save clothing that may never be useful again, why am I saving so much of it? The only thing it's doing is making me feel miserable and weighed down, not saving me the hassle of future clothes-buying.
(On a related note: why do I still have four pairs of jeans with holes in the crotch? Four pairs. Really. That long ago died the death of overly-used pants and should never again be worn in public. What exactly is the reasoning behind keeping things that should have been thrown out long ago? It's not nostalgia, I know that much.)
I have shirts I haven't worn in years, shirts that I honestly never wear. Shirts that are less-than-flattering on me, shirts that do nothing but take up space. And yet I keep them around, not even in the hope that, one day, I'll wear them. I even have a shirt an old boyfriend left here. It still smells like him, a little.
Shoes, at least, I'm better about. Then again, shoes always fit, no matter what size you are. They could do with some purging, too, but I think that I buy maybe one pair of shoes a year. I can live with that.
I need to finally go through my closet this week. Maybe getting that straightened up will help me feel a little less overwhelmed in the rest of my life. Maybe not. But it's worth a shot.