Maybe I'm the one who tried to kiss you, but you're the one who sat down on the fucking statue.
You think I'd throw away all this amazing friendship shit just for the boon of fucking us up for another 6 months? You think I want something from you other than exactly what you've been giving me all this time? You think punishing me is going to make either of us happier?
Get this into your fracking head: It's not the love that hurts, it's the missiles you catapult into my veggie garden.
While you're about it, I'll get this into mine: No more Gen Y chicks, period.