At various times I have written about my good
friend Chris, and this is another of
those tales, but not really about him.
Chris and his wife Kim have five children, whom they love passionately. They're all pretty sweet kids, the youngest are all honor students. Eldest Beth is a sensitive girl who is actually starting to make a little money writing short web profiles, and loves books. Joel is the oldest, in high school and a nice kid, but the past few years have been marred by a major case of Teenage Boy Disease. You know what i mean, smart kid thinks he's smarter than everyone, including his parents and teachers. Random self destructive acts of defiance. It's a common illness only cured by years of butting heads with Reality.
Joel has a friend, another outcast student who spent about six weeks living with Chris and his family. The reasons are many, but he went home only one day when he missed school and the school called to ask where he was. And if they even knew where he was.
They had not seen their son in six weeks and did not care. Nor do I blame him. When a kid says "Wow, it's really great sleeping on a bed," that's prima facie evidence of a problem. So is the fact that you can smell their house from the driveway, or the fact that the lawn is three feet high, but no one dares mow it for fear of beer can shrapnel.
Oh and they got mad at him once and cut up his clothes. All but two outfits. at least that's all he has.
Chris and Kim really don't know what to do. The kid has a year and a half of school left, but he's 17 1/2 and is now a good time to get him into the Children's services system? They're willing to take him in too, but their house is pretty full. They would have to move him to the basement, and that would meen putting in an egress window, a $4K option they don't really have. And who knows what children's services would do. The closest relative is in Buffalo, and has never come to visit. Not that i blame them, I'd have to sterilize anything I wanted to sit on.
And they say he's basically a good kid, not a troublemaker when he has every reason to come out truly messed up. That's probably one reason Children's services aren't involved already. He doesn't stick out quite enough for someone to realize how bad things are at his home.
I have seen some really bad parenting in my day, and some really good parents dealing with problem kids. In a way this kid has been good for Joel because he's finally seeing what a truly dysfunctional family looks like. Someday this boy will probably have a family, and he will have no idea what one is supposed to look like. I think they know they have to get Children's Services involved, but both Chris and Kim realize that once that call is made things will spin out of control. The boy may end up with no one who cares about him, and no home. For him to stay with them would be the best possible outcome because they both are gifted parents who love children and find the time to be with and listen to them. They would show him what a family is supposed to be.
I hope he gets that lucky, because the boy is certainly due.