I sit at work watching the
clock tick by.
12:23 PM
My stomach isn't so much rumbling as feeling like a rather large gaping hole, begging to be filled by sugary snacks and other junk food. It almost makes me feel ill, in a general malaise kind of way.
My thoughts go out to those who genuinely don't have enough to eat. Why do I feel so bad? It's not as if I skipped breakfast, or haven't eaten a meal in the last twenty four hours? It's not even as if I'm some skinny heroin chic waif with no fat on my body to convert into energy. I've put on quite a bit of weight recently, and really haven't done anything about trying to get rid of it other than being unable to buy snacks at work and cycling due to our recent move to new premises.
I find it harder to concentrate, the clock slowly ticking past.
12:28 PM
I get to go home at 1, for an hour. I'll cycle back and bung something in the microwave. But that's half an hour away. The wind blows about outside, trying desperately to find something to howl from. I get this feeling occasionally... usually quickly solved by diving into the cupboards in the kitchen to grab some chocolate, making the emptyness fill and the annoyance go away. I'm no newcomer to this sensation... one memory of it is lying back in bed at Menai, with the rest of my classmates doing various fun activities, feeling incredibly low and tired. I was woken from my passive staring by the headmaster, asking whether I wanted to go down to lunch. I agreed, feeling much better once my aching stomach had been sated.
12:38 PM
I become fidgetty, trying to find ways of passing the time.. then the boss returns, meaning I have to try to concentrate hard on work... I can't.