Bart: "Hymns, here! I got hymns, here. Get 'em while they're holy. Fresh from God's brain to your mouth. Heh heh heh."

Lovejoy: "And now, please rise for our opening hymn, uh...'In the Garden of Eden,' by I. Ron Butterfly."

(the organist starts playing)

Congregation: "In the Garden of Eden, honey, Don't you know that I lo-ove yo-ou? In the Garden of Eden, baby, don't you know that I'll always be tru-ue?"

(Bart laughs)

Homer: "Hey, Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?"

(They both laugh. The organist breaks into a frantic solo. The congregation continues to sing while Reverend Lovejoy looks down at his hymn sheet)

Lovejoy: Wait a minute. This looks like rock and/or roll!"

(Organ solo continues. Subtitle: "Seventeen Minutes Later". The organ solo ends, and the organist collapses on the piano. Later, Lovejoy questions the children...)

Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this. So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola...

Ralph: ...where fiery demons will punch me in the back...

Bart: ...where my soul will be chopped into confetti and be strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers...

Milhouse: ...where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds... (a bird squawks at Milhouse)... Bart did it! That Bart right there!