I've always had trouble
expressing myself. I have to write things down so that I can actually understand these feelings in my heart and thoughts in my head. It's like they're fish
swimming in a river and I have to catch them to know they're there.
It's okay to eat fish cuz they don't have any feelings...
Things change all the time. Things change. People change. Times change. Everything changes. Do I change? I've felt exactly the same for as long as I can remember. Maybe we all just perceive everything else but ourselves changing because we are too naive to realize it.
Lately I've been falling apart inside. I ran out of Scotch Tape. Relationships I've held so dear to me are deteriorating. Maybe people realize that I'm no good. It's the hardest thing in the world to notice that someone who means so much to you sees you more and more with a tone of indifference. It's especially hard for me because I don't know how to fix things. If I only had some Scotch Tape...
I used to think that I knew how to deal with depression, all these evil thoughts that enter my mind. I don't know how to control them. The fear I feel everyday. My lack of self-control. They just pound away at me, and after a while it hurts. To look at your life and wonder what you did wrong. To wish that there was someone to talk to who knew what you were feeling. Why do things have to change? Does anyone notice anymore? Maybe not...