I feel it. Every moment that I’m awake I feel it. Icy fingers massaging my heart. Why can’t I get rid of this? I don’t like to complain, and I tend to ignore feelings that cause me heartache. But when I think of those eyes I am instantly put into a lonesome state of mind. I don’t know, maybe it’s because it was just a year ago that I was moved here. Two weeks before school ended, not even a chance to say goodbye. My parents are still asking me to this day why I’m mad at them. And the truth is, I don’t even know anymore. I just miss those eyes.
Only when I dream am I truly focused on my present self, for my dreams tend to be always about surviving certain situations, no matter how bizarre. But in the reality of this world all I can think about is escaping this hell. But it’s not really hell, I’ll admit it is beautiful up here. I’ve never been around so much green shit in my life. But I need to see the blue skies every now and then. And when I do I need to feel the sun. And I do miss the comforting sensation of a warm breeze. I don’t think I even remember what its like; the closest I get to that anymore is standing next to a vent in the ground with the heater turned up full blast.
When will I ever truly be at home?