John Vincent Omally is one of the two now-legendary saviours of Brentford in the books of Robert Rankin. He is the best friend of Jim Pooley, the best customer of Neville the part-time barman, and the best-known sexual athlete in the borough. This of course has been known to get him into a few close scrapes with husbands of his conquests. His proficiency with a half brick, however, has gotten him out of a few, as has his ever faithful bicycle Marchant.

He frequently claims to be a master of Dimac, but is, opf course, no such thing. He also claims to be a God-fearing Irishman, and is exactly that. He furthermore claims that Large is the best beer ever brewed anywhere. He could well be right.