"And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a
cheap,
lying, no-good,
rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed,
ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing,
brainless,
dickless,
hopeless,
heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged,
spineless, worm-headed sack of
monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the
Tylenol™?!?"
This hillarious rant by Chevy Chase is one of the gratest moments of
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (
IMHO). I have made many an attempt to memorize it, but I can't keep a straight face whilst reciting. I am convinced that using this as a
monolouge for an audition would get you many a part.