So what exactly is the deal with
light bulbs in this God-forsaken country! Back in
Blighty you could be pretty certain that whenever a light bulb blew in the house you would have spares to replace it.
Why is this? Because all the light bulbs were
exactly the same, in the whole house, everywhere. You could
stock up on them and turn a light on in the sure knowledge that should it blow you were well prepared. Very rarely you'd come across one of those crazy screw-in bulbs, but 99% of them were solid, good
old fashioned reliable bayonet socket bulbs.
I come to America, Texas to be more specific and suddenly I discover that one type of bulb is not enough, oh good gracious no. There has to be at least eight different types of bulb per home, and at least two different types in each and every room. Now, whenever a bulb blows I have to make a special trip to the grocery store where I am beseiged by dozens of different types of bulbs, all different sizes and colours and shades of colours. What the hell am I supposed to do with all these options? It's worse than going to Subway, and don't get me started on Subway. For Christ's sake I just want to illuminate my damn house not worry I'm buying the wrong gauge light bulb every bloody time I need to buy one.
What needs to be done is that all non-standard sized bulbs should be destroyed, there will be no more, we can dance naked around a burning fire upon which we shall toss our surplus bulbs, maybe at the same time we can howl pagan rituals. Then we shall rip out any non-standard sockets from our walls and replace them with the proper screw in ones, seeing as bayonet bulbs seem to be non-existant out here. There will be government subsidies to help us fix our homes.
I'll drag this fucking country into God-damned civilisation if it kills me!