user since
Thu Oct 4 2001 at 12:43:20 (13 years ago )
last seen
Sat Aug 12 2006 at 03:17:30 (8.1 years ago )
number of write-ups
70 - View Cornflakes's writeups (feed)
level / experience
4 (Wordsmith) / 3030
C!s spent
2
specialties
Ni hao ma, haokan de nanren. Wo yao ni!
school/company
McKinnon Secondary College
most recent writeup
Cabaret
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I solemnly covenant that at least 90% of my writeups shall be factual writeups





See me jump
  See me run.
      See me hop.
          It is fun!
              See me hop.
                  See me run.
                      See me jump.
                          Fun, fun, fun!

See me jump.
On my bed.
I jump so high.
I bump my head.
On the ceiling.
On the roof.
I hit it hard.
Ouch! Ugh! Oof!

I say a word.
It is bad.
It is rude.
I am glad.
I like to swear.
It is fun.
BAD words, RUDE words.

Fun, fun, fun.                        
Hop, hop, hop.                            
Bump, bump, bump.                                
Swear, swear, swear.                                    
Jump, jump, jump.
                                        
On my tummy.                                            
On my bum.
See me jump.                                                     
Fun, fun, fun.                                                        

Hear my bed-springs.
Hear them groan.
Hear them squeak.
Hear them moan.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.
Groan, groan, groan.
Creak, creak, creak.
Moan,
moan, moan.

This is not good.
This is bad.
Mum will hear.
She'll get mad.
I'll be in trouble.
I'll be sad.
Big trouble, bad trouble.
Bad, bad, bad.
Oh no! Oh no!
Here she comes.
Oh no! Oh no!
Here comes my mum.

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!
Down the hall!
I do not like this.
Not at all!
The door flies open.
She's mad as hell.
See her point.
Hear her yell:

'Are you jumping on your bed?
You stupid girl!
You'll crack your head!
I've told you once.
I've told you twice.
It is not good.
It is not nice!

You must not jump upon your bed!
Do you understand?
You'll crack your head!'

I can fib.
It is fun.
I can fib,
to anyone.
I fib to Dad.
I fib to Mum.
Fib, fib, fib.
Fun, fun, fun!

See me shrug.
Hear me fib.
'But, Mum,' I say,
'I never did.
It was not me.
It was my legs.
My naughty, crazy,
Jumping legs!"

See my Mum
shake her head.
See her drag me
off the bed.
Hear her say:
"That is not true.
I will have to
punish you."


See me struggle.
See me fight.
See my mum
hold me tight.

Being punished
Is not fun.
See me bite her.
See me run.
See me run.
Run, run, run.
See Mum run.
Run, run, run.
See us run.
Run, run, run.
Run, run, run.
Fun, fun, fun.

Around the bedroom.
Out the door.
See the steps!
See me fall!
Down the stairs
on my rump.
Hear me bounce.
bump, Bump, bump.
See me land.
On the floor.
See me run.
To the door.

I must get out.
I must go fast.
Mum is looking.
Danger-ass!
See the door.
It opens wide.
See two big legs.
They step inside.
This is not good.
This is bad.
Those big legs
belong to dad...

I must get out.
I must get past.
I must think quick.
I must think fast.

I know what!
I'll play a game.
Dad’s a tunnel.
And I’m a train!

"Look out!" I say.
"Let me through!    
I'm a train.        
Choo, choo, choo.
"            
I push my head            
against his knees.        
"Toot-toot," I say.    
"Open, please."

See Dad smile.
He bends down low.
"Go, little train.
Go, Go, GO!."
He opens his legs.
I'm almost out.

But then I hear
my Mum shout:

"Stop that girl!
Stop her NOW!
She must be stopped!
I don’t care how!
She’s jumped and fibbed
and fought and bit.
She must not get
away with it!"

Feel Dad's legs
squeeze me tight.
"What's this?" he says.
"This is not right!

You should not jump. You should not fight. You should not fib. You should not bite."

See Dad grab me
(by the ear).
Hear Mum whoop
(and clap and cheer).
Hear Dad rant, roar,
(rave and boom).
See them shut me
(in my room).

I'm in trouble.
I've been bad.
I sit on my bed.
I feel sad.
But I know how
to make sad stop.
I can jump!
I can hop!
Hop, hop, hop.
Jump, jump, jump.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
Bump, bump, bump.

On my tummy.
On my bum.
See me jump.
Fun, Fun, Fun!!!