Decided by Committee
Most of the Gods were there. Usually it's difficulty to even meet quorum for one of these things. I always come, but then I'm left with lots of free time since my smiting days have been pretty much over for the last few hundred years. Oh, I get the occasional ritual sacrifice and every now and then I make an appearance as a rain cloud or a booming voice of thunder, but for the most part, I'm retired these days. In the old days I'd get drowned children and bowls full of tears so often that Chalchiuhtlicue would nag at me for never mowing the verdant lawns of Tlalocan and slacking off on repairs to visit my devoted. But I always figured that if someone's going to go to all the trouble of drowning some brat to appease your mighty wrath, you might as well make a personal appearance.
It was the Greeks' turn to host this year's convocation, and the accomodations at Olympus are pretty spectacular. Plenty of flirtatious pretty girls, (or pretty boys, if your tastes run that way), plenty of booze and great food. It was good to see some of those guys after so long. The Babylonians were there. I hadn't seen Marduk and Nabu in ages. Didn't really care for Marduk's new beard, but underneath he was the same good old boy. The usual suspects were also there; Ganymede kept busy by batting his long, lovely eyelashes at Hu, Pele and Kamapua'a were bickering over something silly and Iktomi and Sun Wukong were bragging about their exploits while piling up their plates at the buffet. Iktomi's still using that same old squirting flower gag. As always, the beforehand gathering seemed too short and I had barely had time to discuss precipitaiton techniques with Tefnut before Zeus was calling everyone to order.
"Gods and Goddesses, deities most puissant, I welcome you to our humble abode," how Zeus was able to call Olympus a humble abode while standing on an enormous gilded dais made out of marble without the slightest touch of irony in his voice is something I'm still awed by, "and it is my honor as the Leader of the Greek Contigent to call this Convocation to order. If you could all take your places?"
We settled into our assigned seats. There was the reading of the minutes, which was mercifully short because there weren't enough attendees at the last convocation for a quorum. There was no old business. So Zeus called for new business, and someone from the Christians piped up, "I say we bring about the Apocolypse!"
Thoth cleared his long throat in that dramatic way of his and said softly, "You realize, of course, that the word apocolypse technically means a vision, not the end of the world. What you are more properly referring to is the eschaton. Although if you don't mind admitting somewhat of a bias to your own weltanschaaung , I suppose the word armageddon would be acceptible. "
The Christian snorted and shouted, "Semantics! Anyway, I propose we bring about the end of the world."
There was a slight murmuring among us, and it seemed pretty obvious that the Norse Contigent was in favor of bringing about the end. They began chanting "Ragnorak, Ragnorak, Ragnorak!" and Thor began pounding on his table rhythmically with Mjollnir. Zeus called for order. After a few moments of quiet, Quetzalcoyotl calmly asserted, "Well, I'd like a resulotion as much as anyone. But bringing it about this year would completely throw off all of the work we've done so far. We've been building up to this, and I don't think waiting five more years would be at all unreasonable."
I nodded in support of the leader of my contigent, but truth be told, It's long stopped mattering to me whether all those old cosmological signs are obeyed. This year would have been as good as any other. Zoroaster scowled and said, "The tenth hundredth winter passed a long time ago. Let's get this over with."
"Aye," Thor bellowed, "There are some jotuns that need smashing!"
"Are you so anxious to be crushed by a giant earthworm?" Isis snapped.
"Well, I for one, think there hasn't been nearly so serendipitous a time for the total destruction of mankind and its environs since the Second World war," Cernunnos smoothly interjected, "I say we strike while the iron is hot, especially with the situation in the Middle East and those lunatics running the States," he ignored a glare from Gabriel, "Why don't we simply put it a to a vote?"
"I second that motion!" roared Ares.
Zeus nodded and said, "Very well, all those in favor of bringing about the destruction of this world, say aye."
There was a most emphatic chorus of deities shouting in affirmation of the end.
"All those opposed?"
An equally vocal and enthusiastic group of us shouted, "Nay!"
Zeus ruled that the vote was too close to tell and had to be taken to ballot. And the result? I'd prefer for that to be a surprise.
part of the wordmongers' masque