People sometimes tell me I can't have it both ways. They tell, me "Look, you're either X or Y, you can't have it both ways." The situation is usually something like this: You're doing two different things. Someone who is doing one of these things insists that you must cease doing the other thing, as "You can't have it both ways". It is at this moment where I believe that all intelligent, thinking people should be able to pull out a revolver and shoot the person who says such a thing right in the forehead.

I say "Fuck you! Not only will I have it both ways, I will have it six other ways as well. I will take the resulting eight ways, and bask in the exponential increase in contradiction in order to subvert the authority of your limited, egotistic thinking!" No, I am not going to put up with people who can't stand a clash of ideas. I will ride the ideo-storm created by such conflicting ideas like a surfer caught in a hurricane of contradictions, enjoying the ride, the thrill, the chaos of it all. I don't care if you think that it's insane to be a Satanist on Monday and then have a friendly debate about Christology with an evangelical on Tuesday, my zipped-up jacket hiding a black metal t-shirt.

In fact, just for shits and giggles, I'll get into Hellenic paganism or Asatru the next day. I don't care if you think having NWA and Skrewdriver on the same playlist doesn't make any sense, or that either is too offensive. I don't care if you can't see the beauty in contradicting extremes, the balance of being in the eye of a storm of wildly clashing ideas. I don't care if I can't not care about it and write about how I don't care about it without caring about it. The fact that I am being contradictory and not being perturbed by it just says that I'm able to do more things than you are without feeling distressed.

I'll be an anti-social butterfly; I'll be the lie that tells the truth. I'll go insane on Thursday and be back to baseline on Friday. I decide what's sane, you get to sit back and watch. No, get your eyes off that cake. I am not just going to have this cake, I'm going to eat it too, vomit it onto a cookie sheet, and bake it into little sicko cookies for you to taste. I'll tell you I love you when you think I hate you, when really both is true, of you and everyone. This is my cake, and I'll do what I want with it. Thank you very much, have a nice life.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.