i was so sad then and you thought (you were so kind)..
it wasn't your fault, it never was
eyes blind with tears that were
prompted by someone who you will
never, could never know.. but
somehow your presence brought the faintest of smiles
my world was crumbling, and you thought..
perhaps you were picking at the little
stones, bits of emotional.. mud?
holding me together
but it was.. him and i think, i hope that..
did i make it clear that you kept me alive?
i would have made it without your presence but
the portions left of me would have been
too broken to fix.
you were, to me, those little smiles that
seem to sneak past sad thoughts and onto
hurt faces. sometimes, asking too much
of my lips, so tired from the trembling..
today i read through your old
letters and they made me cry
again, as they once did those
times when i wanted to let go,
aching too much from penetrating
i never was.. i realize that now,
perhaps even, to a point, then.
there are words for who, what you are to me, but
it's beyond that, now, text is nothing..
all of those times you gave me your shoulder
when you were having such a hard time yourself..
i found it today, that letter you placed on my pillow
the one that made me cry so hard, and smiled at the
way your handwriting appeared down the center of the
page, scrawled in pretty pink..
"you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey..
other things followed by..
i just want you to smile again."
so that's what these so-called friends are for, hm?
tear'y eyed smiles.