Here are a few hints for having a go at vaginal fisting
This piece is speaking to
a woman with a male partner.
If that's not you,
adapt it a little. It's not hard to do.
Oh, and I know nothing about anal fisting, so don't take my advice about this as a
guide for that.
Choose the right partner.
Unless you know your partner can be
trusted utterly to both
notice if you are
hurting, even a little, and to
stop when he does, you'd be best to
forget it for now.
Really want to.
This is the biggest
factor to be considered in any
sexual act,
in my
opinion. If you don't
really want to, it's likely to
fail, either
physically or
emotionally, leaving you both that bit worse off than you were before you tried.
Find the smaller hand.
Most people have a "
smart+
weak" hand and a "
strong+
dumb" hand - a few have the smart and strong on the same side, but they are rare.
Establish which is your partner's weak hand. In most right-handers it is the right hand which is
less strong and
therefore smaller.
Make sure his nails are clean, short and not sharp.
Sounds really really
obvious, but it's not simple to remember
in the heat of the
moment. Dirty nails can spread infection. Longish nails can cut you, and ragged nails with sharp bits have no place near anyone's
soft parts.
Lube
up.
If you think you
might need some more, pour it on.
If you think you
probably don't need some more, pour it on.
If everything goes "
squelch" every time you move, pour it on.
If you both need
snorkels.... you
probably have enough... but pour some more on anyway,
just to be on the safe side.
Latex gloves.
Personally, I would find the idea of gloves a total turn off, no matter whether they made things work or not. However, some people say that using
gloves makes things
slipperier in general, as well as giving added
protection from sharp or dirty nails.
Of course, if you are using latex gloves as a barrier to infection against an
STD, remember not to use an
oil-based lubricant.
Positioning.
It's important that you find a position to be in which is both
comfortable for you, and gives your partner free
access to you.
To maintain
eye contact try lying supine with your legs apart, as for
missionary position sex, while your partner kneels between your thighs with his knees
tucked under your legs. This should be comfortable for you, and raises your bottom a little and tilts your vagina slightly
downward, making the angles he has to navigate just a little less...
angular
What can go wrong.
The primary
dangers of fisting are damage in and around the
vaginal opening.
Minor damage can come in the form of tiny
tears in the
vulval and vaginal skin, tenderness associated with the stretching of the entrance of the vagina and/or with a lack of lubrication, and
bleeding caused when fissures occur.
Severe damage is the actual tearing of the vaginal muscles sometimes leading to incontinence and usually caused by an
overeagerness to achieve full insertion of the fist without allowing the muscle tissue to relax and adjust.
Men, on the whole, have
big hands. Some men have
extremely big hands.
No matter how much lube you use, and no matter how hard you try, how slow you take it, no matter what
preparations you make, his hand may just be too big to fit right inside you.
And if it is, trying and trying will lead to
frustration.
Now, I know one hears such comments as "
If a baby fits through there, there shouldn't be too much trouble with a whatever" but this discounts the fact that during
pregnancy and
labour hormones are released into ones body which help the tissues to
stretch.
Because, on a totally physical level, stretching is
really what it's all about.
And if his hand doesn't fit... so what?
It's obvious you have a lover who is at least
willing, if not eager to
experiment with you.
You will find many other pleasures to enjoy together :)
And anyway...
trying's half the fun.