One of those things that will either make people love you for all eternity or will make them try to kill you with whatever happens to be at hand. It might be wise, therefore, to ascertain what kind of company you're in before attempting this... suffice to say I never bother. That would probably be why quoting from The Goon Show resulted in the single most terrifying experience of my life.

Quoting from the Goon Show 101: initial requirements are minimal. You will need to purchase or borrow at least one Goon Show episode on some recorded media (tape cassette or CD being currently the media of choice), and then devote half an hour of your life to listening to it.

On completion of this phase, you may find (God knows I certainly did) the desire to quote incessantly welling up irresistably inside you. Don't fight it. Relax... let it go.

"Ying tong iddle-i-po."

Good. Now we can move on to the next phase... quoting vast tracts from the script, preferably word for word. To effect this you will almost certainly need a like-minded accomplice. If none are available, select a target and play the tapes over and over at them until they are sufficiently brainwashed as to do your every bidding.

Now go out there and annoy people!

WARNING: quoting incessantly from the Goon Show can have serious detrimental effects on your career, social life, and/or everything else. The single most terrifying experience of my life records one such event with near-disastrous quincequonces. It could happen to you.

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