A relatively recent concept in parenting, relationship science, self-help, and other emotion-stabilizing cottage industries, quality time refers to time spent with other people during which meaningful interactions take place.

Contrast with time spent in front of television, time spent at movies, time spent smoking crack, and time spent stalking object of affection.

Quality time is usually distinguished by the presence of conversation between two or more key players, and almost never includes visits to strip clubs, bars, or sexually explicit warehouses filled to the rafters with shiny, inflatable companions and 55-gallon drums of...but I digress.

Some confusion about quality time may be present in those new to the ideology. See short list below for hints.

Not quality time

  • Picking lint out of your belly button, hindquarters, ears, nose, or couch
  • Poking chopsticks up your nose, or into any other orifices save your piehole, for that matter.
  • Licking things found on the street
Probably Quality Time Definitely Quality Time
  • Teaching your children to tie their shoes, read, or node
  • Enjoying a romantic getaway with your SO (one where neither of you ignore the other in favor of sports, barhopping, or flirting with still other people)

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