Heckerling High School Presents...

Powderpuff Football
Sunday, October 2nd, 2pm

Cheerleading Squad
vs.
Girlfriends Of Varsity Football

$5
(A Fundraiser For The Homecoming Dance)

 

If the above elicits a response, it's usually either one of tremendous glee or an deep, painful feeling in the gut. For few things are more synonymous with American high school spirit than powderpuff football. Traditionally played between seniors and juniors, varsities and junior varsities, or cheerleaders and the girlfriends of varsity football, powderpuff football is an amusing gender-bending variant of football played at high schools as a fundraiser or pep rally event. These rival groups of girls compete in a flag football game, while educators act as referees (and are mercilessly booed), and the football team dresses in drag and cheers (and enjoys it a little too much). Despite the fact that it's a blatant show of popularity propaganda, even the most introverted, world-hating goth has to laugh at it.

I have only seen one powderpuff football game, and it wasn't even my own high school, but it was enough to leave an impression. Among the sights seen in a very enjoyable two hours...

The principal of the school getting beaned by a hot dog (oddly enough, hot dogs were not being sold at the game)

The cheerleading squad wore their skirts (apparently this is not the norm, but it easily won the crowd over) along with uniforms corresponding to the player they were emulating. At one point, the quarterback girl started deliberately fondling the ass of her center. She was attempting to parody the apparent homosexual quarterback-center undertones that exist in football, but did nothing other than SERIOUSLY arouse a good portion of the crowd.

One of the cheerleaders, attempting to imitate a certain football player, apparently hit a little too close to home for his girlfriend's liking. The ensuing action resulted in what should mercifully be referred to as 'unnecessary roughness'. Reowr!

The quarterback for the girlfriend team had a friggin' arm. She was dropping forty-yard spiraling bombs on the defense. It must have been embarrassing for the team's real quarterback to hear people talk about replacing him with her.

One of the guys ripped through his skirt during the halftime performance. His bare ass hanging out, he tried to get off the field, but his teammates wouldn't let him.

But aside from these things, it's really all about watching girls grab at each other and rip clothing. Call me chauvinistic, but you haven't really watched football until you've seen sixteen girls going after a fumble.

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