Cheerleaders (homo vacuous) are small, lithe creatures that feed mainly on plants and suckers with cars.

Cheerleaders travel in packs with a single alpha female whom they refer to as the "Head" cheerleader. We suspect this title is derived from their extracurricular activies involving suckers with cars.

Cheerleaders' plumage varies but is always brightly colored and all members of a pack color their plumage the same as the "Head" as a show of deference.

Cheerleading, it seems, was invented by a man. No, not out of some perverse need for stimulation, but as a way of getting the crowd going at a college football game. According to The World Cheerleading Association, it was invented by Johnny Campbell in 1898. A student at the University of Minnesota, he was somehow compelled to get up in front of the gathered crowd and begin yelling a lot of "Rah, Rah, Rah!" business. It was not called cheerleading at that point. It was called "yelling." Others before him had taken to yelling at games, but Johnny organized it into an additional element of the game.

These days, the cheerleader is most often regarded as one of the popular girls in school who jumps about in a short skirt with pom-pons. How do we go from Johnny and his organized yelling sessions to this? Well, in 1919 there was apparently a man named Shirley Windsor. Yes, a man named Shirley organized a cheerleader driven pep rally at the University of Kansas and it was a huge hit. Women began to get involved and soon they were much more popular leading cheers than yelling men. Surprise, surprise.

The purpose of the cheerleader was to excite the crowd and stimulate greater interest in the game. Indeed. Soon, cheerleaders were incorporating all means at their disposal to achieve these goals. Gymnastics and stunt routines became commonplace. Then came the 1950s and the cheerleader became an important part of the landscape. Any girl who was anyone wanted to make the school cheerleader squad. They were the high school "A-list."

While high school level cheerleading was becoming a popularity contest, the college cheerleading squads began to develop in another direction. Skills training became essential and just being a pretty face was not enough. By the late 1960s, cheerleading at the college level had become a competitive sport and national rankings and championships were becoming part of the program.

By the way, the next time you start getting "aroused" by thoughts of cheerleaders, consider that former United States President Dwight D. Eisenhower was a cheerleader.

So, how does this lead to the present day, when one of the first hits you get on a cheerleader web search reads "watch a cheerleader dildoed, just $2.99?" How did the cheerleader become the source of so much fetish level attention by hormonal males of our species?

The popular girl as cheerleader that evolved in the 1950s may be part of the source. Athletic ability and fitness don't seem to have much to do with most cheerleader fantasies. Instead, after forcing myself to read a number of poorly written cheerleader sex fantasies on some very bad websites you should never visit, the answer becomes very clear. Most cheerleaders depicted in these fantasies are the most attractive girls in school and also the most mentally absent. Naive and wearing their sexy little skirts and tight sweaters they seem to be easily led into sexual situations with older men or take great pleasure in taunting boys who are "beneath their status level." This is the stuff of fantasy. Could it be true? Well, I remember a cheerleader named Andrea from high school who did taunt me by stretching in front of me and grinning like a cheshire cat as I became unable to take my eyes off her. I haven't been able to hold a job since.

These days you can go to a costume shop or adult novelty catalog and find a faux cheerleader outfit quite easily. Is it the uniform or is it the girl? Are male cheerleaders unpopular because of some kind of stigma or is it their generally less enticing outfits? The psychology of it all is often baffling. Does the cheerleader play a legitimate role or are they merely eye candy people like you are not allowed to touch? Are cheerleaders truly athletes as they like to claim when they are on television every week competing? Or are they just trying to remind you that they are better than you. They are a great mystery and you will never know the answer. And now I must go put on my cheerleader outfit and do some cartwheels around the pool.


Some facts researched at World Cheerleading Association webpage

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