I'm sure you're familiar with the scenario. A company wants to present the best possible appearance while cutting costs wherever possible. Specifically, this company owns a building, whether it be for their own business or as a business park. So they splurge on all the things that don't really matter, the shiny objects that we humans tend to be attracted to: gilded on-wall light fixtures, gleaming elevator doors, shimmering polished marble floors, strategically-placed potted trees... the whole nine yards.

Then, as humans are wont to do, someone goes to the bathroom. Perhaps they will even defecate in this bathroom. Well, once the deed is done, when it is time to clean up and return to one's business, the unlucky chap reaches for the TP and finds translucent, one-ply, well-substandard tissue, at the same time as abrasive as sandpaper and as smooth as Teflon.

If this person is me, you can be sure that he will be cursing the stars. Is the incremental savings of perhaps twenty dollars per month (for the building) worth the anal injury inflicted upon the very people you wish to dazzle? How can the bastard who makes these decisions sleep soundly at night knowing that he/she is singlehandedly responsible for hundreds, even thousands of irritated rectums? Sure, there's a few more dollars kicking around -- it might even get spent on WC pleasantries like fully automatic air fresheners and motion-sensitive vacuum breakers and auto-shutoff faucets... but at what price?

Our cornholes deserve better. Make it two-ply, quilted, soft, inviting and luxurious or I will gut you.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.