One day at work, we had on the TV the movie "The Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue". And towards the end, they find all these cute little kittens captive. And as they're being resuced they sound like they're being propelled mid-air across a field.

Then it struck me.

The kitten launcher. The ultimate offensive for young professional nihilists who still want to be stylish. Just load up a modified rocket launcher with a half-dozen rabid kittens. People will run in fear of you. Punk girls will adore you. You'd be able to say "Kneel before Zod!" with confidence and class. And you'd be using cute little kittens for the weaponry we all secretly know them to be!

Because you know...The cute kitten represents violence and carnage.


And you know Aighearach...before they invented bazookas and rocket launchers and heavy weaponry and such, I'm pretty sure that's how it would work back in those days. And I would say that having nine lives goes to a kitten's advantage too.
It is well known that during the Revolutionary War the Americans were often short on supplies. What is less well known is that this resulted in a great deal of innovation, including the invention of the kitten launcher. The kitten launcher consists of a solid base with a flexible pole rising about 15 meters vertically from the base. At the top of the pole is a small basket and a long rope. To operate the kitten launcher, the rope is pulled back until their is sufficient bend in the pole to easily reach the basket. A kitten with sharpened claws in then placed into the basket. To fire the kitten launcher, simply release the rope.

While at first glance this seems rather cruel to the kitten, it should be considered that the Colonial Kitten Corps had a lower casualty rate than the human combatants on either side. This is usually attributed to their six sense, which makes them nearly impossible to target, but their ability to always land on their feet should not be discounted.

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