Good Lord.

The inestimable Jet-Poop is perfectly correct; no-one has yet noded the term janitor. We just can't have that. Allow me, as a member of the noble profession in question, to elucidate upon the terminology proffered herewith.

Various sources tell us that the word janitor is derived (at base) from the Latin term iænus, which means doorway (or gateway, covered passage, portal). The proper form IÆanus was anglicized to Janus - the God of Doorways, or the Gatekeeper. The term iænitus denoted the 'keeper' of a door or passage; the American Heritage Dictionary tells us that Saint Peter was referred to as the 'Janitor of Heaven' in his role as doorkeeper. It further notes that the first anglic use of the term is probably from a Scots text circa 1567. Eventually, the 'keeper of the keys' came to mean the keeper of an establishment; eventually, the maintenance functions overtook the ownership and mastery connotations, leaving us with our humble but crucial janitor of today.

A custodian, of course, is another term for the janitor.

We are they who toil late
when all the lights burn low
who seek to learn what men would hide in desks
and deny us the right to know

Pushing brooms and mops and wielding lights
of brushed aluminum and steel
we walk the darkened corridors
in guard of all that's real

for otherworldly danger lurks
in shadows grown long across the floor
from flick'ring candles, lowered lamps
or moonlight shining round the door

Monsters, villains, miscreants young and old
Who would seek to invade our halls
'tis our noble duty to them deter
or else find them, and kick them in the balls.

Truly, a noble profession.

The Janitor (in this context pronounced Jay-in-ator) is an advanced (read: dangerous), modular bong developed by wtb and pyro of Canada Heavy Industries.

The Janitor consisted of three medium sized jellybean jars procured from pyro's work. The development team joined the jars together with silicone, together with two 80mm case fans.

Using a soldering iron, Pyro affixed a screw pipe to the bottom jar. He cut a hole in the top jar and attached the mouthpiece from a 1.5l Coke bottle. The screw pipe could accomodate many sizes of cone, and the Coke bottle mouthpiece could be attached to a hose, mask, or anything else that added to the smoking experience.

Power for the two fans was provided by two 12v DC power supplies, and was controlled by a foot pedal. When closed, the foot pedal engaded the two fans in "normal" mode. There was a second switch that started the second power supply, thus engaging the Turbo Boost!

Operating in turbo mode, and with a specially developed attachment (patented by Canada Heavy Industries), the Janitor could obliterate an entire joint in 30 seconds.

Only attempt to build one of these if you have nothing to live for.

Jan"i*tor (?), n. [L., fr. janua a door.]

A door-keeper; a porter; one who has the care of a public building, or a building occupied for offices, suites of rooms, etc.

© Webster 1913.

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