During college, my roommates and I had a big party in our new apartment. Naturally, there was lots and lots of drinking, not to mention drinking games such as pour beer on your head. After a few hours, one of my roommates passed out from too much revelry. We took it upon ourselves to fuck with him.

We brainstormed all the things we could do, but since this consumed so much energy that we needed for drinking, we decided to just write the words "BUTT SLUT" in large letters on his forehead with a large, black magic marker. Our amusement with our cleverness turned quickly into boredom, however, and we returned to our debauch once we penned our masterpiece.

Well, the evening wore on. By three or so, the party showed no signs of dying or quieting down. About this time, there was a loud knock on the door. Before anyone could move, our roommate with the fresh tattoo sprang from his room in one of those moments of instantaneous clarity that sometimes comes to drunks in the midst of crisis. He opened the door to find two Boston Police officers.

Like I said, he was very lucid for someone falling-down drunk. He explained very clearly and gracefully that, yes, the party was too loud and, yes, he would have everyone go home. Everyone else was hiding (everyone was underage) and practically wetting themselves to keep from bursting into hysterics.

When the door closed, a girl poised herself behind our buddy with a compact mirror opened. He saw his reflection in the mirror and audibly gasped. Everyone came out of their hiding places laughing uncontrollably. Our pal went into his room and did not emerge for the rest of the evening, and as for rest of the party, we all laughed our asses off for another twenty minutes before calling it a night.

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