The harbinger of guilt. It's dark, you've been up all night chatting, noding, taking controlled substances.. whatever. And suddendly you're no longer safe with your small transgressions. The world will glow again and you will be bleary-eyed and jittery and sans homework. Those who were in bed by midnight will be up, eerily clean looking, exercising or proofreading or eating a healthy breakfast. You have shirked your responsibilities to healthy, productive society.

Often it's the result of an addiction.. To an act, to a drug, to a person or situation. At two, you promised you'd be to bed in an hour. But the absurd creative buzz kicked in and rebellion followed. You found yourself revelling in your nonsense, feeling fortunate you missed none of it. And the hours stretch past three to four and into dawn.

When the birds wake up, it stops being thrilling. It's like missing a final exam. Hopeless anguish strikes you and you stop, eyes wide with shock. Hurridly, you hit Alt+F4+F4+F4.. until the electric hum abruptly silences itself. You switch off the light and already the shadows of the blinds lay on the floor. You review your duties to the day and mentally cut your losses - miss class, go to work, nap until ten, catch up on the homework. Go to bed. Go to bed.

You can't.. You struggle to find comfort in your sheets and pillows, but failure taunts you each time your eyes fall shut. Eventually, you're frustrated and up again, lighting a cigarette.

And you think, "As long as I'm up, maybe I ought to check email.."