I could taste the LSD
mixed with breathmints. It would be 45 minutes before the effects took place... I sat, I waited, I watched him play guitar
. I watched an episode of Futurama
. Then the ceiling started stretching into the blank space of the walls. What next? We walk. Where? Wherever.
It was night and the street looked long and winding. The leaves on the trees were clouds of smoke
. The palm tree
's looked beautiful stretching over the city lights. I felt a hand close around mine. I jumped. Something's growl
ing. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. It's not a wolf, is it? Wolves don't live here. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Relax, breathe. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"It's all in your mind."
We sat down on a hill overlooking the city and all the surrounding suburb
s. It was beautiful. I looked at the sky. "I feel so small and insignificant
. I feel like I could die and it wouldn't matter. I feel like the entire human race could be wiped out and it wouldn't change a god damn thing in the entire spectram of the universe and galaxy. The stars wouldn't care if everyone was gone." We got up and walked.
The pavement shone like never before. Rainbows started streaming from streetlights. Safeway
was a mind control
factory. Stay far away from it.
We crossed the freeway overpass. "I wonder what would happen if I stepped off it."
"You'd break your bones."
"What if I didn't?"
"You'd get hit by a semi."
. A great idea so late at night
. Where are all the people? Where are all the tourist
s? Oh yeah. People sleep at 3AM usually. Right. We continued on, and in the distance I could hear the roaring sound of crashing waves... Gradually becoming not so distant. Soon it was a cacophony
of crashing and silence and noise that is too personal to try to explain.
Out of nowhere a cross started coming closer and closer to me. "Do you see that cross?"
"You see it?"
"Yeah, I see it."
"What is it?"
"I don't know."
Then the lights came closer and before I knew it we were running down the beach. "Let's get naked and swim
"Cool man. Cool."
We stripped. I ran, arms outstretched towards the ocean
. I slowed my pace as I approached the wet sand. It felt strange under my feet. It seemed to be some sort of murky swamp. "What the hell is this muck?" No answer. I walked closer. The water
crashed along my ankles and wrapped all around my ankles. The water felt warm and good. What are these things under my feet? What is this murk. I'm sinking into it. Don't stop jumping. Don't let yourself sink into it. I felt a hand close around mine. "What are we walking on?"
"I know it's sand. I don't like this sensation at all."
Another wave. Another deafening crash
. I looked into his face as he said, "I'm going to go back to where it's dry."
"I'm going to stay here and explore."
"Don't run away, don't do anything stupid
. Don't swim alone."
Now I was alone. I was aware I was being watched and didn't care. I stopped moving, except the occasional jump to keep from sinking
. I reached down to touch the water. I scooped up some wet sand. "It's black. Why is it black? It's fucking whale blood
." I looked left. I looked right. To the left there was a dark figure laying on the sand. It looked like a dead seal. To the right there was a dark figure laying on the sand. It looked like a dead seal. Each body was exactly the same distance from me on either side. I started digging around in the sand. "It's blood, it's blood." It's not scary though. It's not. I know it's blood but it's okay, because it's just blood. Blood can't hurt
you unless you're bleed
I proceeded to crawl
around in the sand in the direction of the dry sand, constantly digging for blood. Then the strangest thing happened. As soon as I got close to him, I stuck my hand in the sand and wherever I touched white glowing, sparkling diamonds trailed my hand wherever it made impact with the sand. It was like magical
sparks of diamonds were appearing wherever my hand touched, and then faded away as quickly as they had appeared. I dug around in the sand for a long time. "Do you see them?"
"Yeah, I see them."
"What are they?"
"Fuck if I know."
"What do you see?"
"I see your hands making diamonds."
I started to feel my legs. They were really long
. There was all this dry, scrapey hard stuff all over them. "I'm bleeding. Why am I bleeding?"
"You're not bleeding, it's all in your head."
"No, look. I'm bleeding. It's everywhere."
"You're not bleeding sweetheart. You're okay. It's in your head. It's in your head."
"Are you sure?"
I put on my clothes. I dug around in the sand more. I laid down and stared at the sky. I felt something jump next to my head. "What the FUCK was that? What the fuck are these things? They're everywhere! They're covering this entire fucking place!"
We left, and walked back up to where there was concrete
. What the fuck is that? What the fuck! It's a fucking dinasour
"It's a dinosaur!"
"It's a vulture
"What the fuck!"
"It's a log!"
"It looks like a dinosaur."
"It has a beak and eye sockets."
"Wanna go to this beach? Maybe it doesn't have bugs."
We walked down onto this new beach. There were still fire
pits going. I walked over to one. I heard a yell, "Don't touch the fire!"
"No shit! I know it's burning and it's hot. I won't touch it."
I watched the embers in one particular fire pit burn
for a while. It was beautiful. Then I noticed the fire seemed to be breathing. Maybe I'm interrupting it. I'll walk away now.
He was laying in the sand. "Come look at the stars with me. They're so fucking beautiful
," he said.
"Yeah, they are."
"What do you think is behind them?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... if you reached up and shattered the sky, what would be behind it?"
I looked at the stars and thought long and hard. "Well.. The night sky is so dark
, the stars contrast so brightly to the night sky
. I think if you were to crack the sky, you'd only crack the sky and not the stars. What's left over would be all the stars - except one giant blinding white, twinkling light of nothing but star-colored emptiness."
"Do you think that's what death feels like?"
I looked over at him, rolled on my side facing his face. "I take it back," I said.
"Take what back?" He said, looking rather puzzled.
"I take it back about saying I feel insignificant. I felt insignificant then but I don't anymore."
"So how do you feel?"
"I feel like I'm supposed to be here doing this right now. I feel like everything's connected. I feel like I have a place in my life, and that no matter what happens to me it was supposed
"That's a good thing to feel."
"Yeah, it is."
"Do you believe in God
"No, do you?"
"No. What do you believe in?"
"I can't say I don't believe in anything. I just don't believe that there's one God watching over us, judging us and everything we do. I don't think there's always a right and wrong to every situation. I believe in possibilities. I believe there could be a higher being, a higher existance
. I guess spirituality
I climbed on top of him and smiled. "I want to marry you someday," he said. I laugh
ed. " It feels so long ago that we were together," he said, "we've been through so much but I've never stopped loving you. I'm going to marry you someday and be a family."
"Okay," I said. "I'll tell you what. If we go back to the sand where my hands can make diamonds
and the diamonds are still there I'll marry you."
"I hate to think that your hands making diamonds in the sand is going to determine whether or not I get to marry you."
"Tough luck. There'll be diamonds anyway, I know there will be."
We walked back to the beach we were at before. I walked really far. I stopped. "This is where the diamonds are."
"How do you know?"
"I just know."
I reached down to touch the sand and the ground erupted in diamonds. They were everywhere.
"Do you see them?"
"Yeah I see them."
"I guess we're getting married then
I looked over at him. He looked scared. "I see fireworks
in the sky and you are purple
. I'm scared."
"Don't worry. Nothing bad can happen to you. I won't let anything bad happen to you. Just lay back and enjoy the fireworks."
He smiled, "I know."
We walked back to the asphalt
. There were fucking dead seals
everywhere and the smell of it choke
d me. There was a light in the distance. The light lit up a set of stairs. "Do you want to climb those stairs?"
We walked over to the stairs. Halfway up there was a bench overlooking the ocean. "Let's sit," he said.
"there are cobwebs everywhere," I said, pulling one off of his head.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"They're on my hands and the light is reflecting off of them everywhere."
"Don't be scared, you're just cobwebbing. A lot of people experience it. It can be very scary but don't get scared. Just know it's all in your mind."
"It's not scary. I like it. I'm not afraid of spider webs."
I looked down at my ankle, at the tattoo
of a red rose
with leaves and spider web attatched between the rose and the leaves. "It's weird to think I'll have this for the rest of my life
. I've wanted a rose
on me ever since I was seven years old. The red rose symbolizes eternal love
. Rose leaves symbolize hope
. The spider web symbolizes being trapped
between hope and eternal love."
"That's really awesome."
"I want to get more tattoo's, I wish I had money
We climbed and climbed. My heart rate accelerated out of control, I lit a cigarette. I started waving it around, watching the trail of light follow it around. It was profound.
We walked back along the overpass. I made sure I was walking on the side with the street to my right. "I just realized I haven't eaten in three days," I said.
"Get something to eat."
I walked into a food mart. There was a black man covered in sweat. He was smiling real bright and it looked like he was covered in some sort of neon
green substance. I smiled right back at him. I grabbed a bag of Doritos and went to the cashier. "ninety nine cents."
"ninety nine cents."
"Oh. Hang on a sec."
I reached into the inside pocket of my leather jacket and pulled out my wallet. I found a dollar. "Here you go."
He handed me a penny and I put it in the penny jar. "Have a nice day... or night... whichever."
We walked out and up the winding road to his house. "That was surreal."
"Yeah, interacting with people."
"I always feel so connected to people... but I can't explain it."
I looked down at my arm. My leather
jackets left arm is painted blue
and has studs on it. I ran my hand across it. Scales
. This feels like scales. "I feel like a, uh...." I was thinking of the word reptile
but it wouldn't come out, "reptillian
"You feel like a.... reptoid?"
"Yeah. Like a Komodo Dragon
We walked up the road. It wasn't so scary
now. I felt like I was in space because the sky was a neon blue color but you could still see the stars perfectly. We walked to my car, put on Johnny Cash
and talked until we passed out.