Okay sonny, sit down and listen up.  I'm sick of listening to your so-called "music" with your so-called "lyrics" that are supposed to inspire me.  Real music died in 1979, dammit, and no amount of angsty teen glitter dildo pop can convince me otherwise.  Back in my day, boy, we had lyrics that made a man want to get up and change the world--because the song was telling him to, DAMMIT, and that's just the way it was.  

In 1961, a young man named Barry Mann wrote a song with Gerry Goffin that epitomized an entire era of American life.  American Pie don't got nothing on this bad boy.  The lyrics were so inspired, so imaginative, SO PERFECT as to make even the common gutter animal want to get up and serve his country.  Add to this a backbeat that makes Stairway to Heaven look like child's play.  Statistics don't lie--93% of left-handed Americans without noses consider this song their personal anthem, using it to guide them through the dark times of life without olfactory senses.

Without further ado, the lyrics (helpfully explained by yours truly for those of you too stupid to appreciate fine music):



I'd like to thank the guy
Who wrote the song
That made my baby
Fall in love with me


Here, we can clearly see Mann and Goffin paying homage to themselves with an amazingly prophetic sense of irony.  They KNEW, you see, that this song was going to motivate a generation of young women to embrace free love and usher in the '60s, and so they pat themselves on the back for deftly engineering a cultural revolution.

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me (yeah!!)


And here it is, the crux of the matter.  Who DID put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp ba bomp?  Was it the same guy who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?  Before these hard-hitting questions were overshadowed in 1963 by the assassination of John F. Kennedy, they piqued the curiosity of America and were the topic of dinner table conversations across our great land.

When my baby heard
"Bomp bah bah bomp "
"Bah bomp bah bomp bah bomp bomp"
Every word went right into her heart
And when she heard them singin'
"Rama lama lama lama"
"Rama ding dong"
She said we'd never have to part
So


GENIUS!  PURE GENIUS!  This verse explores just how the magical phrase, "bomp bah bah bomp," created enduring love in couples and orgies:
  1. One's baby hears "bomp bah bah bomp/bah bomp bah bomp bah bomp bomp"
  2. One's baby hears "rama lama lama lama rama ding dong"
  3. One's baby knows that they will never have to part.
Also note the brilliant segue--"so"--at the end of the verse.  My 9th grade English teacher told me that transitions between paragraphs are important, and the Mann/Goffin creative powerhouse clearly learned this lesson and quite adeptly noted it could be applied to music as well as prose.

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me (yeah!!)


One's first impression might be that this is a simple duplication of the song's chorus, but one would be WRONG and EXCRUCIATINGLY STUPID.  The repetition here is actually the English translation of the American lyrics--for our friends in the United Kingdom.

Each time that we're alone
Boogity boogity boogity
Boogity boogity boogity shoo
Sets my baby's heart all aglow
And everytime we dance to
Dip da dip da dip
Dip da dip da dip
She always says she loves me so
So


Mann and Goffin, knowing that 1961 America was still quite prudish, had to really work to get the obligatory--and I would venture to say necessary--pornographic content into their song without causing an uproar.  But rest assured, the song managed to hit the airwaves without the censors ever catching on to what "boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity shoo" was really referring to (what Mann and Goffin do to each other when they're alone).

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me (yeah!!)


I bet you're trying to upstage me by pointing out that this is the Australian-translated chorus?  WRONG.

(It's the New Zealand translation.  Look closely--the subtle (yeah!!) at the end of the verse is the dead giveaway.)



I would like to present, as a special BONUS, the pronounciation hints from the website (http://lyrics.coolfreepages.com/Lyrics/1961/801961.html) from which I stole the actual lyrics:

"while most backups do a series of 4 (bomp bah bomp bah bomp, rama lama ding dong, dip da 
dip da dip, boogity boogity shoo)'s and one solo backup is singing "oh-oh-oh"'s> END OF 
MIXTURE

Backups conclude with 3 more (bomp bah bomp bah bomp, rama lama ding dong, dip da dip da
dip, boogity boogity shoo)'s with that same soloist overlaying "oh-oh-oh"s 

FADE in the middle of the second one."

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