Who ate all the pies?
Who ate all the pies?
You fat bastard!
You fat bastard!
You ate all the pies!

Somewhere in between a song and a chant, this delightful five-line piece of poetry will often be heard whenever young drunken British males come across someone they feel is slightly overweight. Not quite as offensive as it may seem, it's usually sung in a good-natured if somewhat beer-addled way, and the singers are themselves likely to be sporting a sizable beer gut anyway.

Addendum: should you ever find yourself at a bike rally in Britain there is a high chance that a rock group called Dumpy's Rusty Nuts could be on stage at some point. When they begin belting out their superb covers and original music at volume 11, it is de rigeur for the fattest and drunkest members of the audience to chant Who Ate All The Pies? as loudly as possible. I once saw 4000 bikers using this technique when a Meat Loaf cover band came on stage. The lead singer was not amused...

Addendum II: during the 1992 civil war in Somalia, the veteran BBC news reporter Kate Adie was somewhat surprised to find that in every village she went to, the children would come rushing up to her and proudly demonstrate their ability to sing Who Ate All The Pies. A short investigation revealed that a couple of months earlier a contingent of British troops had been among the United Nations peacekeepers in the area. The squaddies had been amusing themselves by teaching the kids in the villages to sing this song: the kids, no doubt thinking they now knew the British national anthem or something, would then happily sing this at every westerner they came across.

Addendum III: the question has now been answered! According to news reports a gentleman by the name of Pete Lawer from Brackley, Oxfordshire set a new world record by eating 32 cornish pasties in one hour on November 8, 2000. He was reportedly late picking up his prize (another 24 pies) because he was feeling a little sick!

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