Two Gentlemen on Veronica

First Cleaner

Thrice the cursed pratt did spew.

Second Cleaner

Thrice and on my floor that shined.

Third Cleaner

The wretch must pay, this time, this time!

First Cleaner

Round and round doth polisher go;
Our dour tedium passing slow.
Probostickus on his cold throne,
Mocks our labours, every one.
at end of week a paychecks got;
'taint worth a hankie charged with snot.

ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;
Lysol burn, and detergent bubble.

Veronica (thrusts forth her head from yonder doorway)

YOU - foul misshapen trio!
By Macbeth's balls your cretinous whining does vex me,
happily would I offer innumerable sacrifices,
to fiends or demons real and fleshed evil;
that your doubtful existences be put beyond all doubt.
My condolences, heartfelt and to the last of them true;
go to the undoubtedly retarded she-goat charged with your upbringing.
That my diatribe eludes your wit will suprise me not,
thus I offer as closing;
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU JANITORIAL HAGS!

Act Two, Scene Three, continued by Lord Brawl

First Cleaner

Rather than hold conference with this harpy,
To the lunchroom let's repair forthwith.

Second Cleaner

Abandon rhetoric's sweet smoke
For that of Marlboro Man, perchance?

Third Cleaner

Chase it with a frosty Bud!
That's a plan that's firm and good.

First Cleaner

Grab your brooms, let us depart.
Come, sisters, let's go!

Second Cleaner

Yo!

Third Cleaner

Yo!

exuent Cleaners.

Unseen (and presumably color coordinated) Announcer:

As he dresses, turgid and malevolent schemes
Bestir themselves with the dark recesses
Of Helmut's shocked and spinning brain.
How might Probostickus meet his grisly demise?

Helmut

Alas! Now I must do murder. What to do?
I am no schemer, and no OJ Simpson's here
(Acquitted though he be, by learned peers)
To plot the nefarious deed. Damnit, Jim!
I'm a lover, not a fighter,
With love's sweet oils still drying on my skin.
Can I kill a man, and if so how?
Perhaps electric shock through his PC?
No gearhead I, I'd likely kill myself instead of him.
Cut the brake lines of his Porsche perhaps?
Unreliable at best, the way he drives
Insults the german engineers who made it.
How many times has he been standing here
Beside this fax machine and peering down
Like some demented god at us below?
But soft! There he is below me as I speak!
Checking the Page 3 girl as he leaves!
Now's my big chance!

Helmut grabs the heavy fax machine and tips it over the railing. It falls heavily to the floor below, landing with a wet thudding sound.

Nerdquo (offstage)

HOLY SHIT!

Helmut (Schwarzenegger-like)

You're faxxed now!

CURTAIN FALLS

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