Now I got a job
But it don’t pay
I need new clothes
I need somewhere to stay
But without all of these things I can do
Without your love, I won’t make it through
from Train in Vain by The Clash

So, my friends, the task is hard. You may not realize it now or ever, but you are one part of the thing that keeps me going. With my cold feet in this cold room, a cold beer, a hot cigarette, a hot trickle of water from the bathroom sink that is expected to keep my pipes from freezing tonight, I am hanging on to you in my memory.

I will sometimes fall apart on you, and I don’t come with instructions on how to reassemble. By even admitting this, my armor has chinks; it can’t keep me warm without you. True love is a hard sell. I am several floors before that stop. Maybe you are going to be on the floor I get off on, maybe you will be there when the doors come apart and close again. Whether I am on this side of them or that when then close is partly up to you and to me, in pieces.

So, thanks, in advance, for whatever it is you do for me. It’s precisely what I will need, when it comes.

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