I know we’ll deny it until the last minute
when it’ll all come crashing down
like some bitter gravity.

that last touch before you leave.
watching your lips, your puffy cheeks.
your running eyes.
my weeping willow.

what will I do after you turn that last time?
after you get on that plane and go away.
a half a world, a universe apart,
it makes no difference the exact distance.
you won’t be here.

but opportunity and fate await us.
maybe it’ll never happen.
God, I hope it never does.

what will I be without you?
how will I write?
why will I paint?
will I have a reason for...
for anything at all?

a final kiss and a squeeze of the hand.
you will leave me with these.
I wish that I could come for you.
come to you.
take you away to paradise with me.
take you home.

your tears and mine mixing on my neck
like aqueous lovers.
and perhaps this will come to pass.

“and if I ever lose you
I will not outlive the hour
of such crushing misery.”

apologies to Alexandre Dumas

she didn't leave.
almost five years later, i'm looking back at this. ha ha ha. i left her. the bitch.
sixteen years later, I'm looking back again. wow. i was incredibly young. everything2 has been very kind.

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