Ok. You’re a geek. You can make a toaster do back-flips with seven lines of FORTRAN. You can solve mathematical formulas that would turn Good Will Hunting into applesauce. Why can’t you figure out how to meet and attract women? Try this simple - yet challenging - plan.
1. Like yourself. If you don’t, how can you expect anyone else to? Finding a girl won’t make you happy if you aren’t already happy with yourself. Do not proceed to step two until you’ve accomplished this – and that’s a node for another day.
2. Groom thyself. Brush your teeth. Shower. Shave – you’re not Don Johnson, nor are you Brad Pitt. Put on some clean, un-rumpled clothes. You don’t have to wear Armani, just establish some sartorial space between you and the homeless guy in front of your office.
3. Like other people. See step one. Remember, people like being around other people who make them feel good. This doesn’t mean you need to fawn over everyone, just try and have a positive outlook. If you’re angry, depressed, bored, or whatever, these emotions will rub off on other people around you and they will start to associate those feelings with you. If your life completely sucks, fake it by finding one thing – anything – to be happy about, and focus on that. (Although you probably need to go back to step one.) On the other hand, if you’re a generally positive person, people will associate those good feelings with being around you, and will want to spend more time with you. Yes, women too. Trust me.
4. Get out of the house. Go do something where you meet people. Anything. Surely you have some activity you like that can be done – or at least discussed – in groups. If you don’t have a hobby or an interest, go look for one, and find other people who do it, too. If you’re completely stumped, surf the net to see what other folks do for fun. If you don’t like one thing, move on to the next. Have fun. You’ll meet other people having fun, too.
5. Be open to meeting people. Shy? Exercise some willpower. Practice conversing with strangers – start slow with folks who don’t intimidate you. Start with, say, your mailman. Work up from there. Strangers in the elevator at work – you can always chat about the weather, or who won the lottery. Remember, the best way to meet any person is a smile and the word "Hi." Yes, it is. Trust me.
6. Be interested in people. When you meet someone new, try to find out what they care about, or what moves them, or makes them happy. What did they do for their summer vacation? How are their kids doing in school? How’s the new promotion working out? If you ask people about themselves, you don’t have to struggle to think up witty conversational gambits. They’ll do all the talking about a topic they love. Also, you get to figure out what makes that person happy, which is always good to know if you’re trying to have a positive interaction with them.
Once you spend some time working on these skills and habits, you’ll find that you have probably expanded your social circle greatly. People will enjoy spending time with you, and will introduce you to their friends, both male and female, because you’re a fun guy to be with. You’ll be happier, and people will respond to that vibe. Including women. And when you’re happy, and confident, and surrounded by people who like you, you’re a lot more likely to see and act on opportunities to meet the woman of your dreams.
Good luck, geek-boy.