This node won't make much sense without knowledge of timecube
I wrote this a while ago for my own amusement, felt like noding it.
Timecube proves true, Gene Ray wins Nobel Prize for physics.
Stupid Teachers and Evil Academia renounce their counterfeit cubeless ways.
STOCKHOLM: Yesterday, Gene Ray was awarded the Nobel Prize- physics' highest honour, by the Swedish Academy of Sciences. Gene Ray's groundbreaking work in quantum cubic theory culminated in his publishing the principle of "Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-day Time Cube."
The phyisist won the praise of the Evil Academia for showing them that they were, in fact, educated stupid. Gene, a Florida resident, was hailed as the Greatest Thinker and Wisest Human for his Pulitzer Prize winning "Time Cube" book, which contradicted and condemned every religious and scientific book written. "Nature's Harmonic Time Cube constitutes Highest Order and is the greatest scientific discovery of all," said Gene Ray apon accepting his prize. He recieved a medal, a diploma, and a cash donation of over 1 million US dollars. He was given a standing ovation from the evil stupid educator audience.
The Department of Education has announced that, effective immediately, sweeping changes will be made to the cirriculum. "These changes are necessary," says spokesman Daniel Rutheringham, "to prevent further enslaving of dumbass students by ignorance of TimeCube."
The changes outlined are as follows:
- Geometry will teach that cube has four parts- top and bottom with front and back and 2 sides. A new textbook, entitled "All Creation is Cubic" is being distributed to schools across the nation.
- English will no longer be an offered course in schools, because language is a human invention of an evil cubeless singularity, and word worship is evil.
- Physics will be replaced by a new course, entitled Cubic Theory. The central theme of this new course will be the "4 simultaneous 24 hour Days within a single 24 hour Earth rotation."
The President has praised the Department of Education for their foresight, saying that "This is a good thing, because Without Time Cube, your life right is voided. Without Timecube, we word-murder our children, and nobody wants that." He also announced plans to replace the Statue of Liberty with a 300 foot granite model of Gene Ray's Simultaneous 4-day cube.
In other Cube-related news, Pope John Paul has announced his resignation, saying "I'm sorry, we were wrong. The God words you know, will not allow you to know TIME CUBE's highest Life Order. For that, I apoligise on behalf of the entire Catholic Church. Adult word god is a counterfeit and fictitious evil upon children." He ended by encouraging all Chrstians to "Burn bible to save humanity."
The Pope's sentiments were echoed by other religious figures throughout the world. The Dalai Lama is quoted as simply stating "God is a word masturbation" as he wandered away into the mountains. Osama bin Laden released a video, saying that "Word and god are unnatural, counterfeit, fictitious and do not exist in Nature's realm. God is cornered as a queer."