They're the big fashion statement of today, if any girl is found wearing a t-shirt that doesn't have a short message on it, we'd all say how quiet she was being and probably ask her if she's feeling alright. And there's a mesage to suit every mood and every girl (and, come to that, every boy, albeit the groovy, feminine boys):

90% Angel

I will not kiss the boys.
I will not kiss the boys.
I will not kiss the boys.

You say 'Bitch' as though it's a bad thing.
t-shirts for women who take no crap

You are the weakest link,
good bye.

Fondle with care.

Aloof. Unavailable. Ice Queen
Aloof. Unavailable. Ice Queen
Aloof. Unavailable. Ice Queen
(quite fancy a shag, though)

You've been a bad boy.
Go to my room.

0 to Horny in six seconds flat!

nothing to see here, please disperse

There's cute pictures of cows captioned 'Calciyum', messages sewn on with sequins, the backs of which rip your tits to shreds and, well, literally millions of other messages with millions more appearing every day. They're pretty cool, most of them - I've even got a few of my own, it's nice to wear cute things every once in a while. :)

But there, as they say, is the rub. In a society where men are seen as having no further interest in a woman outside her breasts or, at the very least, being keen enough to have breasts well within their top three bits of the female anatomy it seems odd to invite eyes to rest on this area and then throw a killer glare at the innocent t-shirt reader as if he's some kind of breast-obsessed pervert.

So in the spirit of fighting fire with fire, I'm going to have my own vest-top printed:

I don't give a fuck about your tits.
I'm just trying to read your t-shirt.

or, for the rhyming couplet and those who agree that having swearwords on a t-shirt is neither big nor clever:

I don't really care about your breasts
I'm just trying to read your vest.

I mean, okay. In the long run it's not necessarily true - of course I'm interested in breasts, hell, I even want a pair of my own one day - but in the context of passing a girl in the street, I think it fits the bill.

however, having said that, getting the line "okay, buddy. it doesn't take five minutes to read the word angel!" is never good news. and, apparently, 'fondle with care' is not an instruction. ;)

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