Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for homosexuals. Called by this term by the religious right to obscure what they truly desire, and imply that they somehow desire more than equality.

The Homosexual Agenda
(Gleefully adapted from a cute, but blank, notepad I once saw)

6:30 am:Wake. Remove sleep mask. Begin drawing bath. Play Franz Liszt CD
6:45 am: Add scented bath oil and rose petals to the bath. Apply honey and avocado face mask. Place cucumbers and teabags over the eyes to reduce swelling.
7:05 am:Soak in bathtub. Enjoy Franz Liszt.
7:45 am: Relunctantly get out of tub. Decide which outfit looks the best. Choose the armani suit and the hand-painted silk tie. Quickly gel morning hair.
8:26 am: Finish dressing. Look in the mirror to make sure all the creases are in neat lines. Decide to frost hair.
8:35 am:Leave for work.
8:57 am: Stop into coffee shop and order a double Caramel Mocchaccino Valencia, or other pretentious drink. Look at scones, decide not to eat one.
9:07 am: Breeze into work. Compliment receptionist on her stunning fashion statement, try not to laugh.
9:15 am: Call best friend. Pretend it's important business. Gossip shamelessly about your ex-boyfriend's current beau and his horrible fashion sense.
10:45 am: Finish phone conversation. Attempt to look busy for fifteen minutes.
11:00 am: Dash out for lunch at trendy new fusion restaurant with sharp-tongued female friend.
11:15 am: Arrive for lunch exactly fifteen minutes late. Kiss friend on cheek. Gossip ruthlessly.
2:05 pm: Finish up bottle of house wine. Kiss friend goodbye.
2:07 pm: Call best friend on cell phone. Tell everything you learned at lunch. Chuckle smugly.
2:22 pm: Arrive back at work. Manage to look busy for forty minutes.
3:02 pm: Dash off for appointment with personal trainer.
4:03 pm:Shower. Call hairstylist and beg to be fit in for a walk-in
4:32 pm: Arrive at hairstylist. Get wash, rinse and color.
5:57 pm: Leave hairstylist. Decide the color is horrible. Call ex and cancel dinner.
6:07 pm: Subjugate the Earth with unholy legions of devoted minions. Destroy the nuclear family. Outlaw Religion and sack the Vatican.
6:45 pm: Meet best friend for cafe au lait and a light snack. Discuss vacation plans.
7:45 pm: Briefly attend fete at art gallery. Ask cute sculptor if he'd ever been to a circuit party. Slip him home phone number
8:55 pm: Arrive for enzyme facial and steam bath at trendy spa.
9:22 pm:Go home. Change into adorable Dolce & Gabbana outfit.
9:35 pm: Arrive five minutes late for Foreign Art film. Loudly talk about your four-week affair with the lead. Pretend you understand dream sequence.
11:50 pm: Go clubbing. Flirt with muscular bartender.
2:03 am: Leave club with several phone numbers, but no unemployed skanks.
2:27 am:Set alarm. Get dressed for bed. Place on sleep mask.

Understanding the homosexual agenda is the same as understanding anyone's agenda. Every individual has their own motivations and justifications in life. If you want to take a group and make a generalization about what they want as a whole, you have to start with shared experience. With gays it is particularly easy to see that they face bigotry and hatred almost everywhere they go, often times even from their own families and whole childhood communities. I think that's a pretty safe assertion. Where you run into trouble is then jumping to the conclusion that the gay agenda is:

  • Promotion of a gay lifestyle
  • Special legal protections
  • The right to flaunt their sexuality
  • To subvert X (legal system, schools, politics, etc.)

Certainly any person on the planet wants to be afforded equal rights and opportunities, that much I can say for sure, but the assertion that gays and lesbians are subversive and flamboyant is nothing more than a hurtful stereotype. Sure, some of them are, but an objective look at the evil in the world does not turn up a disproportionate ratio of gay involvement. Frankly I think it's a small miracle that homosexuals are as resilient as they are. People focus on gays because sexuality evokes strong feelings, but if we are to consider ourselves a socially advanced society, we need to strive for objectivity in judgement. Modern society is based on personal freedom. We expect to have the right to do what we want as long as it doesn't infringe on others' rights.

If you are out there proclaiming that gays should stay in the closet, that they shouldn't promote their own interests, and that they are disgusting and immoral, then you seriously need to reevaluate your priorities. Where is the opposition to big business subverting the legislative process for profit at the expense of the public interest? Where is the outcry against abusive husbands perpetuating a cycle of violence by mistreating their wives and kids? Where is the sense of disillusionment at the inability of the government to address the root issues of poverty and crime instead of just throwing money at the problem with more jails and superficial social programs? As a society we have way bigger fish to fry, and I find it disgustingly hypocritical to attack the gay rights movement on the grounds of 'protecting society'.

So what if gays and lesbians disgust you? It's a minor annoyance compared to the experience of consistently being denigrated and targeted for hate crimes. These days almost everyone is pretty sensitive to racism and makes at least a superficial effort to accept people of various ethnic backgrounds. A special effort is required due to the psychological circumstances facing people who are frequently targeted by discrimination. Intuitively we understand that, for example, black Americans are distrustful of the white power structure because it has worked against their interests for so long. The only difference with gays is that they can stay in the closet to avoid the discrimination, but then they are faced with the inner turmoil of living a lie. Whether or not you find a gay lifestyle distasteful, you should be sympathetic to the hardships that they face daily.

The argument that being gay is a choice sidesteps the relevant issue entirely. Whether any personal trait or action is voluntary can be argued interminably, but the legal system is concerned primarily with wrong actions. Does an action hurt somebody? In the case of being gay, gay marriages, and having children while gay, there is simply no reason to believe anyone is getting hurt. If you are bothered by the thought that more kids are growing up with the idea that it's okay to be gay, I direct you once again to my previous example. Millions of kids are growing up with the idea that domestic violence is natural, and that it's okay to milk third-world labor for the maximum personal profit. As a society, we expect the freedom to teach our kids our own values and ideals as we deem appropriate. If we are to make an affront on this very basic right, then it seems that there are a lot better places to start.

Finally, we need to understand that cause of much of the negative behaviour we can identify in the gay community is a result of the psychological traumas inflicted on its members by an unsympathetic society. Overcoming these challenges is a goal that some are able to meet more readily than others. Whatever the case may be for an individual, it's no more fair for a straight person to tell a gay person how they should act than it is for a white person to tell a black person. More generally no person can fully understand another person, so value-based judgements are imperfect and potentially dangerous. If you really can't abide the way some gays act, then you would do well to remember that accepting a person and chastising their behaviour is much more effective than outright rejecting them as a person.

Restricting a person's freedom is something that can only be justified based on the infringement of people's rights. Anything short of that is on shaky moral ground, and unlikely to have the intended benefit to society.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.