General Mills sobs
into his Lucky Charms -
unrequited love.

Cereal killers
do more damage with a spoon
than with a steak knife.

Cap'n Crunch hijacked
his ships, but the law had no
set jurisdiction.

A balanced breakfast
tastes like riboflavin and
Vitamin B12.

Eating oatmeal sucks.
Maturity must be more
than whole grain rolled oats.

Tony the tiger
was still "more than good" despite
some impotency.

False advertising:
Reese's Puffs and Cookie Crisp
are not what they say.

Snap, Crackle, and Pop
had to work from a young age -
cereal orphans.

OCD or not,
waffles should have syrup in
each indented square.

Count Chocula was
never a Count, nor did he
enjoy the boxed fame.

"Silly rabbit, Trix
are for kids
" are the last words
you will ever speak...

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