A 1982 play by William Gleason. Epitomizes the "stereotypically shitty play" that high schools have performed since the dawn of time. Gleason must think he's fairly clever to make a play like this. It parodizes the poor quality of high school theatre! Ha! That's a riot! It's a good thing he wrote it in such a way that it can safely rest on its laurels after pointing out its grand message:

High school plays are bad.

That was pretty clever, Willie! Anyway. The Worst High School Play in the World depicts a play within a play. Both of them are awful. The inner play is the story of Ivanha, the heir to the Saxonian throne, who is overthrown by the king's brother, Viscera, while the king fights the infidels in Asia Minor. The boy is exiled and raised by squirrels in the Dark Forest, and returns to reclaim the throne from his evil uncle.

Some of the play's more shining moments:

  • A parody of Dan Hill's "Sometimes When We Touch," which was probably awfully clever twenty years ago. Sample:

    Sometimes when we touch,
    Your armor hurts too much
    But I'm gonna love you anyway!

  • Some subtle "priests-are-gay"-type jokes:

    Boy! I haven't had this much looking at anything since I found those Da Vinci prints in Friar Fred's closet!

  • An exceedingly clever joke, wherein the director says "Break a leg!" and his students hear "Lay an egg!" Chicken noises ensue.

Well. I'm sure you need no further convincing to drive up to Massachusetts and catch this amazing fall production (Available for $50 and a song from http://www.dramaticpublishing.com). Be sure to catch Gleason's other masterpiece, The Clumsy Custard Horror Show. Actual descriptive quote:

You've heard of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. You've heard of The Pudding That Ate Detroit. You've heard of Dr. Zhivago. Now ask yourself, "What do they have in common?" That's right! Nothing. BUT . . . take the wacky characters and zany audience participation of one, the stark terror and spellbinding horror of the other and, finally, the souring love and tempestuous triumphs of the last, and you get . . . The Clumsy Custard Horror Show and Ice Cream Clone Review.

God help us all.

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