I am the god of hell fire, and I bring you - The Totally Poptabulous London e2/c2/et tu New Year Millennium* Spectactular Meet!

Hello, my name is RalphyK. You might remember me from such websites as everything2, or community2, or perhaps even hotgaynunboobs.org.asm.uk - or perhaps not. Anyway, that's by the by. This is a meet for all us internet freaks, from both sites, and here are the details:

Saturday 3rd January 2004, 7pm-ish Onwards
Penderel's Oak, An Londonne Pubbe
All Welcomme

Why? Well, the esteemed Siobhan/Cindy, the also esteemed dann/dann/baker's man, and the also also esteemed Nora/metal rozsa are going all to be in the UK simultaneously for about 13 seconds, and it's our duty, nay, sacred blood honour, to go and sit in a pub with them, talk bollocks at them, and find out why everybody has so many different names. Nora will be travelling back from Paris that very day, but will try to call into the pub depending on the hour, and ting.

Where? Penderel's Oak pub, in Holborn. Two reasons: (1) it's a Wetherspoons pub, which means they don't play music, have decent prices, and serve nice food. (2) it's easy to get to, not in some godforsaken place that takes 15 days on a fresh horse to get to. The second reason is quite important, as noders/articlers/whateverers are notoriously unable to travel much further than their own fucking front door without screaming that "it's MIIIIIIIIIIIIILES away, man". But in fairness, what with the shite state of the London public transport system, even short journeys take bloody ages these days. The pub is at 283 High Holborn, a short walk from Holborn tube, or Chancery Lane tube. Go here for a map http://tinyurl.com/ysc0, here for photos http://tinyurl.com/ysc4, and here http://journeyplanner.tfl.gov.uk if you need directions. Apparently, there is a cash machine on the premises, too, which is handy.

Crash space: some people will probably need crash space. Volunteers, offer yourselves. Needy crashers? Sort it out with the volunteers. Both of you can let me know when you confirm your attendance. I have no space, what space I had is taken, so there. No room at the inn. Go and have your bloody baby somewhere else, I'm not made of money, more than my job's worth, bloody census, haven't had a minute's peace, etc etc. If you're coming along, or you can't make it, or you have some interesting opinions on sausages, let me know, and I'll update the list. Do it now, or the internet will break and we'll all laugh at you. Come on, be a Comer! You wanna be a Comer, doncha?? Crash space update: Andrew Aguecheek has found cheap accommodation at http://tinyurl.com/z8hl - there are quad or twin rooms for £22.50 each, if you'd rather not leave it to chance.

But let's get something nice and crystal clear: I don't want to hear "why is it in that pub?", or "can it be Friday instead?", or any of that shite. I will not take any guff from you swine. It's happening on that day, in that place - if you can make it, groovy, if you can't, I'm sure we'll all be able to put our shattered lives back together somehow and move on. The schedule of the various travellers is tighter than a crab's arse at 50 fathoms, this must be planned like a military operation - ie, rushed, heavy casualties, and with no thought whatsoever given to what will happen 5 minutes after it ends. I like to think that my meets are like a Swiss clock. A broken Swiss clock, full of dirty syringes and supernovas. So there will be no changing things to accommodate one person. That way madness lies. There will be other meets. If you don't like it, make up your own damn meet. Now get out of my face, afore I bite ye!

And remember, folks - it's all about the people...

Comers so far:

RalphyK (Me)
JodieK (Ms K)
Siobhan (AuntieK)
dann (UncleK)
metal rozsa (friend-of-a-friendK)
ReiToei (inbred cousinK)
fondue (monkeyloverK)
Monkey (sockK)
spiregrain (stepdadK) - late arrival
princess loulou (mmm-K)
booyaa (Kmart) - BOOYAA! BOOYAA! BOOYAA!
Catchpole (SpecialK)
ponder (realaleK)
arieh (eggmanK)
gnarl (FuckpuppetK)
heyoka (DoleScumK)
megan of wutai (kungfuK)

Ditherers:

fuzzie (FuzzieK) - needs crash space
bz2 (MilkmanK)- needs crash space
call (ApplePornK) - needs crash space
Andrew Aguecheek (stepsonK), if he can get time off work
Heisenberg (uncertainK) - if he can get a flight on that day, we'll see him, but seeing him will change him, etc
wertperch (naughtyK) - "chances of me making it to the meet are on a par with my chances of shagging Kylie MinogueK in the Lloyds lift" - so, see you about 9, then?
SharQ (fireK)
BaronWR (64K) - needs crash space
a scar faery (petlemurK) - needs crash space
Albert Herring (anhalibutK)
WyldWynd (prodigalsonK) - convince him, he's snubbed us for too long, send him saucy msgs
Gritchka (fluK)

Non-Comers:

StrawberryFrog (distantcousinK) - will be in sunny South Africa, but sends his regards - well regards don't pay the rent, mister!
Tiefling (godfatherK) - will be in California, or as Governor Arnie would say, "Kwilwarfwarnwoorar", trying not to get shot or indoctrinated into some bizarre keep-fit scheme
Walter (nextdoorneighbourK) - will be in Florida, or so he claims
Timeshredder (DocBrownK) - is leaving Europe on the 3rd, showing a distinct lack of time shredding skills, methinks
Chiisuta (cheekygirlK) - "I'm sorry but I will be making hot sex." Wahey! etc
Oolong (tealeafK) - will be in Edinburgh, drinking tea
eponymous (untitledK) - will be busy assassinating a spy with a modified umbrella
dizzy (gonemerkinK) - has gone native, and will be busy saying "aloooom'num" a lot, even though this is clearly wrong
dutchess (naughtyteacherK) - again, with the pathetic excuse of being on a different continent. I mean, pur-lease!
CamTarn (walrusK) - bah! No money and lots of exams make CamTarn something something.
Avis Rapax (googoog'joobK) - same deal as CamTarn. Shun them both! Spurn them! Until the next meet.


*Your definition of whether or not this year is the true "Millennium" or not may differ from mine, which was a misheard fragment of a phone conversation and therefore not legally binding, unless you like that sort of thing you filthpot

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