Someone mentioned to me that he couldn't hear the word pharmaceutical without thinking of "Neuticle", the brand name for a prosthetic testicle implanted into dogs, cats, horses and cattle when their original equipment is removed.

So what could I do? I wrote a sonnet.

 
Because they simply won't stay on 'em,
Dogs will never use a condom.
They cannot use the pill, they can't
Inject hormones, nor(even)plant

A capsule filled with birth control
Into their paws, becaws they roll
Around in dirt and dig up bones
(And bury them when they're alones)

Which brings us back to Topic One:
How to let a dog have fun
Without his feeling modified.
In that situation, I'd

Suggest you skip the pharmaceutical
And swap each nut for inert Neuticle.

 
...on second thought, maybe it's dog-gerel.

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