There once was a king who had almost infinite knowledge. This king was also very evil, and foul-mouthed. His name was Ledger. So, one day he was sitting on his throne, admiring his own fingers. "What wonderful fingers I have!", he said to no one in particular.
He was sitting there almost all day when a messenger flung his chamber doors open and stumbled inside. The messenger greeted him with a obligatory "Your Majesty!", And sat down in a chair that had been brought in from the hall. The messenger calmly started to speak. "Sir, I come from a land across the desert, sent by a person unbeknownst to you. He sends his regards and this message." He removed a sheet of paper from his pocket, and began to read. "King Ledger, I come from a far off land, but I was once a former resident of your kingdom. I have news that will turn your world upside down. I have a secret that you don't know. Meet me at the gates of the city, leading out to the desert." And with that, the messenger vanished in a puff of acrid smoke.
The next day, the king and a leigon of soldiers went to the gate. They were not meeted by a person, but instead, a post shot up out of the ground with a message on it. The message read,"King Ledger, come to the place marked on this map. Alone." And slowly, a map appeared on the post. Ledger exclaimed,"I must be dealing with a person skilled in magic!" The guards backed off and left for an obscure tavern, partly out of fear from the king's crazy whimsy, and partly out of fear from magic.
Ledger was walking for a long while, very thirsty. He wondered if he would ever reach the point on the map. The only thing that was keeping him from stopping was his thirst for knowledge. Finally, he stopped abruptly. There was a man approaching rapidly, sheathed in a brown robe. The figure finally reached Ledger. At this, the mysterious man reached around and took off his robe.
"Radagast! I thought, I... I..." Ledger cried. Radagast finished it for him. "You what? Left me for dead in the desert? Well, I found my way back to the gate. But on the way, I learned much from the nomads. Like magic." Radagast kept going, "You only came out here from your obsession with learning and secrets. So, I do have a secret for you. But I can't tell it to you here. We will have to go to the Center of the Desert." Ledger was still shocked that his former general was still alive after all these years. He said, "Well, I must know! I'll follow you."
But secretly, he had a dagger, poised and ready, to strike when he knew the secret. So, onward they went.
They were walking for a long time, when Radagast stopped. He snorted, "We're stopping for a drink." The king had brought no water, so he had to drink out of a flask that Radagast provided for him. They sat there for a while, not speaking. Ledger sat up and spoke, "Let's go." Radagast nodded his head in agreement.
After walking for a couple hours, Radagast stopped. He said softly, "Here's the spot." Ledger whined, "Finally!!" Radagast leaned in to whisper. He said, with a smirk, "The flask you drank out of was laced with Aspartame. Now who's trapped in the desert? You're blind!" And with a satisfied cackle, he vanished under the shifting sand.