Note: This applies to U.S. soldiers
. If any jarhead
s can read this: it's a joke
Once upon a time, a government scientist
decided to find out once and for all who was tougher: soldiers or marines. His first subject was a U.S. Army Ranger
who was known as the toughest guy in his unit. For the first test, the scientist had the soldier row a rubber assault boat up a jungle river. The scientist sat in the front of the boat, taking notes, while the Ranger rowed steadily, singing "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!"
After several hours of this, the scientist pulled out a machete and cut the man's left arm off. The Ranger, hardly blinking continued rowing with his one good arm, singing "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!"
The scientist was quite impressed by this, and made a note to that effect in his log. He then picked up the machete and hacked off the soldier's right leg. The Ranger again hardly seemed to notice and just kept rowing and singing "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!"
The scientist, seeing how little effect the amputations had on the man, decided to give him a little more of a challenge. Swinging the machete once again, he this time cut out half the soldier's brain
. The Ranger was briefly shaken, but once again shook it off and continued rowing and singing "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!"
The scientist was truly amazed at this point. This was obviously the toughest man he had ever seen. He decided to give the guy the ultimate
test, and, with a final stroke of the machete, he removed the remaining half of the Ranger's brain. The Ranger collapsed to the deck of the boat and the scientist was sure he had done him in. Then, to his amazement, the soldier slowly rose, shook his head a couple of times, then picked up the paddle and resumed rowing, singing "From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli..."
If any everything users (especially gods and/or content editors) were ever in the Corps, I'm just kidding guys. Really.
I've heard this told by a couple of different people over the years, if anyone knows who the original author is, /msg me.