It was a normal January day, right. Kind of cold, but the sun was still there, I guess.... somewhere... Anyhow, I wound up at Golfland, with an orange golf ball, even though I insisted on a pink one.

It started as a typical golfing experience, (even as the only other one I've experienced was when I was tripping on Vicadin after spraining my leg on a date... In the end, I don't remember anything.... My friends tell me we had a deep conversation on the lawn though).

Little did I know that my trivial golfing would lead to a life-or-death experience. After passing off a bottle of Nacho cheese as 'really chunky hot chocolate' to two people, we proceded to the first hole. I cheated. I cheated at the second and third hole... By the end of our game, I got a hole in one everytime.

But, I took the wrong path and decided to tempt fate. I took hold my mighty club of golf, and swung with all my might. I actually hit the ball on my first try. Oh, but if only I had known... If I had suspected the horrors that awaited my actions to come, I never would have thought to attempt such unspeakable actions.

As my ball flew in the air ever so majestically, it ricocheted off a wall and back at my people. We all stared in horror at the incoming terror, too frozen to even close our eyes when the ball would hit. But it was too late. Alas, it flew into a bush, and was completely engulfed.

I wouldn't accept that as the end though. I beat down that square bush that swallowed whole my orange ball. But things could only get worse.

As I swung my mighty club of golf, bringing down the wrath of the evil square bush, many other colored balls escaped. There was a green ball, a red ball, even a blue ball... But no orange ball. I had given up all hope. I lay at hopes end.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the bush gave in and let free my orange ball. We rejoiced and made mirth. But, we left with a life's lesson: Don't look a golf hedge in the mouth and certainly beware of square bushes bearing gifts.

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