This delightful pasta recipe is so called because it's got lots of prawns in it and will make you scream, "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" in a comedic South African accent.

YOU WILL NEED:

  • 200g fresh cooked and peeled prawns

  • 5 oz spaghetti or other pasta (see below for why)

  • 2 cloves garlic

  • A splurge of olive oil

  • A large glass of inexpensive red wine

  • A double squirt of fresh tomato purée

  • 1 green naga jolokia pepper

1. Drain the prawns in a colander to remove any excess water, slice your garlic and slice your naga jolokia pepper transversely.

2. In a medium saucepan, boil the spaghetti and leave for about 12 minutes. Add some salt to taste if you will, I don't know. After 7 of these 12 minutes, heat in a frying pan some olive oil until very hot. Add the garlic and stir frequently so it doesn't get stuck.

3. Once the garlic's started to brown off and disintegrate as it does, throw in the prawns and cook on a high heat for 2 minutes. Then pour your glass of red wine and squirt in your tomato purée. Stir frequently until you have the prawns coated in a moderately viscous dark red concoction.

4. Add the naga jolokia and continue to stir for a further 3 minutes or thereabouts.

5. Drain spaghetti and upend back into the pan. Mix the prawns, tomato, wine, and naga thoroughly. Shake it about a bit, being careful not to accidentally catapult hot naga seeds into your eyes, and serve. Serves one.

You will find that naga jolokia, aside from having 976,000 Scoville units packed into its wrinkly skin, also has a wonderful fruity taste, almost citrus even, that offsets the rich tomato and red wine flavour and the ever so slightly rubbery texture of the prawns. This is part of the reason why nagas are used both in traditional north-east Indian cuisine and also by psychotic chilli heads like myself. The result of this incomparable dinner is that you will find your tastebuds on fire in more ways than one.

The clumsier among you may want to substitute other pasta for the spaghetti. This is because spaghetti has a habit of firing the sauce in which it is served in directions such as white shirts, your lady friend's posh frock, and your eyes. I know whereof I speak on this last point. I had to put my face under the bath tap for about 10 minutes before I could open it again and even then it was exceptionally red.

Drink recommendation - Newcastle Brown Ale.

Bon appetit!

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