This morning I cried a little for a noder I never knew. Who passed away four long years ago. I felt an echo of the suffering - his suffering, his friends' suffering, his family's...

That was then, and this is now.

His w/us are still here. His homenode. All the love. The helplessness. Makes it very, very real and now. Brings back fears of my own. Makes me remember nights and days of fuck you if you do it...

We made it through. My world is still intact. I count every day as a blessing.

I never knew him, but /me misses Hermetic

Happiness

Mix:

In a bowl you can microwave. Microwave for one minute on 50% power and stir.

Eat with a spoon

Contemplate the goodness of Saturdays

Refrigerate excess.

Eat peanut-buttery-chocolate goodness later.

Trying to get my priorities right after reading joes3029's messages in my chatterbox after my last rant I decided that from this week on I would be a changed person. That I would focus more on the wheat and cut out the chaff.

I was drunk on no less that 3 occasions in the past week.
Of course the fact that I had my first round of class tests at the end of the week didnt help much. A post-graduation bash and a birthday party were just some of the reasons for some rather extended drinking sessions. The other days I drank just to get rid of the throbbing pain in the back of my head. By Thursday evening I was stretched to the point that I swore I would never touch alcohol again.

Not all was bad though.
I finally started reading again. John Milton, James Joyce, Edgar Allan Poe et al have found their way back into my bookshelf. Going through the pages I now wonder why I stopped reading in the first place ? Sober moments found me studying for the test and so I managed to scrape by with decent scores.

Well, guess what ?
Its Saturday night, and I am drunk again. This time the reason cited is the end of the tests. Seems to me that we are on a constant lookout for any petty reason to go drink ourselves to oblivion. It is times like these that doubts arise in my mind on the type of company I so lately tend to keep. I have always considered myself a great judge of human character. I couldnt have been more wrong.

Change is inevitable.
Slowly but surely I hope to get back on the track again. If this means making certain changes in my group / lifestyle so be it. I am ready to take the risks and face the trials and tribulations that now lie ahead of me. Rekindle the dying embers and revive once more the dreams of yesteryears. Seems now that the throbbing pain was really a warning signal....

It aint over till I say its over.

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