Roxanne

"Roxanne" is also a: user

created by Adam Walker

(person) by deep thought (6.7 y) (print) ? (I like it!) Mon Jun 26 2000 at 20:15:56

The object of Cyrano's (mostly)unrequited love.

She is the woman he woos with words only in Cyrano de Bergerac.

Sting, who wrote the song mentioned above, would know that since he was a former English teacher.

(thing) by GoodKingNerdnor (4 wk) (print) ? (I like it!) Fri May 04 2001 at 5:00:03

These nose jokes came from "Roxanne". A movie starring Steve Martin (famous SNL cast member, and star of The Three Amigos! and Father of the Bride). Martin's character in "Roxanne" is a modern day portrayal of Cyrano de Bergerac and is, shall we say, "well equiped" in the facial area... The full list of 25 insults includes:

1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face.
2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow.
3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like ... Wyoming.
4. Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
5. Punctual: Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.
6. Envious: Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.
7. Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8. Philosophical: You know. It's not the size of a nose thats important. It's what's in it that matters.
9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and its goodbye Seattle.
10. Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
11. Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12. Melodic: Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose."
13. Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14. Complememtary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
16. Obscure: Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18. French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.
19. Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20. Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.
21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair.
22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23. Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.
24. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25. Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?

These were followed by Steve blocking a punch from the man whose intelligence he insulted by thinking up "20" better insults, then racking him and giving him a backhand to the face... "Has he fallen yet?"

printable version
chaos

Put on the red light	Cyrano de Bergerac	Baron Munchausen	Sting
I got a 1400 on the SAT	2am, city, winter	G.I. Joe Public Service Announcements	El Tango De Roxanne
Three Amigos!	The Police	Samurai clothing and hair	Steve Martin
Don't stand so close to me	Drinking games	rack	Long Island Diner Culture: A Complete Guide
E2 Red Light District	PSAT	marching band	Douglas Adams
Jesus Christ Superstar	Help! My money is full of cocaine!	Sweet Pain	menage � trois

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