So, I finally noticed it today. It all makes sense to me now ! I go to the Pizza Hut for their lunchtime grease buffet and all the cholesterol you can eat extravaganza and the place is packed. However, there is no fresh, delicious, hot, pizza being delivered on oven scorched platters to the awaiting masses at the buffet table. Only a friggin dessert pizza is sitting there ! I HATE dessert pizza. If God had meant for dessert to be on a fucking pizza, he would of dropped a scoop of ice cream on the thing.

Ok, so anyway, back to the story (er, conspiracy...) I wait and wait and wait some more but all I get is the opportunity to graze at the salad bar like some kind of bovine with a wallet all the while leering over my shoulder at the friggin dessert pizza, mocking me like some kind of round, flat, blueberry topped, sugar drenched, clown.

So I decide (like I always do) to pack it in and go back to the orifice and hack my quaint little server side Java code for THE MAN and just as I am pulling out of the damn parking lot, I see, through the window, three fresh varieties of succulent, hot, fresh, sure to be delicious, pizza being carried out to the buffet table.

Damn them, damn them all to pizza Hell, those friggin pizza nazis !!!

I've always found that however hungry you are when you enter a Pizza Hut, and however staunch may your determination be to eat a phenomenal amount of pizza, at their "All you can eat for £4.99" Buffet, two things always happen.

1. You cannot eat anywhere near as much as you planned
2. You leave feeling bloated and vowing you will never eat pizza again.

It is my private theory that the recipe to which "Buffet" pizza is made is different to that of your common or garden menu pizza, and that a higher proportion of heavier dough is used, thereby reducing the number of slices it is physically possible to consume.